155. "The Thriller" by Michael Jackson
This song made it into the top 200 for three reasons.
Reason #1: It caused the Great Drill Team Tight Pants Scandal of 1982. When the Marsh Valley High School drill team entered the gym and performed a dance routine to this song while wearing skin tight pants and extra-scary makeup, the Keepers of Religion in the crowd shat themselves so hard they lifted off their seats and got a little closer to heaven. The urge to begin the public shaming was so intense that it began before the dance was even over. We heard about how sinful the dance was in seminary, in church, in school, in seminary again…. I always enjoyed the irony that all the people that were railing against the overtly sexy performance by the girls only made us young men think about it that much more. If they'd just kept their mouths shut, we wouldn't have thought about it the following week at least six times less than we would have otherwise.
Reason #2: Vincent Price's rap at the end of the song is awesome wrapped in bacon. And he tops it off with a long over-the-top evil laugh. I am particularly fond of the last line "For no mere mortal can resist the evil of the Thriller." I discovered later on in life that it is a really fun to substitute this line for the last line or two of any opening or closing church hymn. I don't use it for sacrament hymns, though. There's "inappropriate and funny," and then there's "inappropriate and wrong."
Reason #3. I thoroughly enjoyed watching every episode of Psych on DVD. But there was a special treat in Season 2, Episode 1 "American Duoes" when Shawn and Gus couldn't agree on which song to perform during the duet contest. In the end, Shawn sang Tears for Fears' "Shout" and Gus did the Thriller dance to it. It was laugh-out-loud TV that got replayed a dozen times before I went ahead and finished the episode. Fun fact: This episode of Psych was directed by John Landis, who also directed the "Thriller" video.
The More You Know….
Monday, July 13, 2015
Friday, July 10, 2015
156. Shaken, not stirred
156. "Shake It Up" by The Cars
Church basketball marathon game over. Three o'clock in the morning. Driving in the dark with the Arimo Mafia. Snow on the road. Can barely see through the frost-covered windshield. Freezing our asses off because the heater takes waaaay too long to warm up. "Shake It Up" comes on the radio. We crank up the volume and sing. Air drums. Air guitar solo. Air keyboard on the dashboard. Laughing hard together at the end.
At that moment, The Cars officially become one of my favorite bands.
Church basketball marathon game over. Three o'clock in the morning. Driving in the dark with the Arimo Mafia. Snow on the road. Can barely see through the frost-covered windshield. Freezing our asses off because the heater takes waaaay too long to warm up. "Shake It Up" comes on the radio. We crank up the volume and sing. Air drums. Air guitar solo. Air keyboard on the dashboard. Laughing hard together at the end.
At that moment, The Cars officially become one of my favorite bands.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
157. Hammer of the Gods!
157. "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin
Vikings!
Mjölnir!
Longboats!
Valhalla!
Geysers!
Blood-and-gore armed invasions of England!
What isn't there to like about this song? You can run to it. You can drive to it. You can sharpen your battle ax to it. You might even be able to win the Superbowl to it (if you're the Minnesota Vikings).
My favorite memory of this song is taking my son to see "School of Rock" in the Logan theater and both cracking up at Jack Black driving his smoke-belching van and shrieking "Ah, ah, aaaaaaahhh, ah! Ah, ah aaaaaaahhh, aaah!" Now I try to do the same whenever this song thunders through my car speakers. How good is that scene? It's so good that it's even funny in French.
That particular scene has forever tied Jack Black to the "Immigrant Song," much in the same way Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend" is now associated with Chris Farley. Jack was even asked to pay tribute to Led Zeppelin when they received the Kennedy Center Honors award. His best line: "They sang songs about love. About vikings. About vikings making love."
I think it's the connection with viking history and mythology that got this song into the top 200. When I hear the song, I can't help but think of the runes and the stone ships that I saw in Sweden. It's one of the few songs that I don't ever remember hearing in Sweden that still makes me think of Sweden. And lately, the song makes me think of "The Vikings" television show, which has become my second-favorite show on TV.
And what is my favorite show? "The Walking Dead." That's because of a Christmas gift I received a few years back of the book, "The Zombie Survival Guide," which is the greatest book ever on the subject. "The Walking Dead" show closely matches what the book says about zombies, so I'm a big fan of the show, and I don't see anything replacing it as my favorite in the near future. But if they made a show where vikings struggled to survive a Dark Ages zombie apocalypse, well then I'd be a very happy Swede, especially if the "Immigrant Song" played during the opening credits.
Vikings!
Mjölnir!
Longboats!
Valhalla!
Geysers!
Blood-and-gore armed invasions of England!
What isn't there to like about this song? You can run to it. You can drive to it. You can sharpen your battle ax to it. You might even be able to win the Superbowl to it (if you're the Minnesota Vikings).
My favorite memory of this song is taking my son to see "School of Rock" in the Logan theater and both cracking up at Jack Black driving his smoke-belching van and shrieking "Ah, ah, aaaaaaahhh, ah! Ah, ah aaaaaaahhh, aaah!" Now I try to do the same whenever this song thunders through my car speakers. How good is that scene? It's so good that it's even funny in French.
That particular scene has forever tied Jack Black to the "Immigrant Song," much in the same way Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend" is now associated with Chris Farley. Jack was even asked to pay tribute to Led Zeppelin when they received the Kennedy Center Honors award. His best line: "They sang songs about love. About vikings. About vikings making love."
I think it's the connection with viking history and mythology that got this song into the top 200. When I hear the song, I can't help but think of the runes and the stone ships that I saw in Sweden. It's one of the few songs that I don't ever remember hearing in Sweden that still makes me think of Sweden. And lately, the song makes me think of "The Vikings" television show, which has become my second-favorite show on TV.
And what is my favorite show? "The Walking Dead." That's because of a Christmas gift I received a few years back of the book, "The Zombie Survival Guide," which is the greatest book ever on the subject. "The Walking Dead" show closely matches what the book says about zombies, so I'm a big fan of the show, and I don't see anything replacing it as my favorite in the near future. But if they made a show where vikings struggled to survive a Dark Ages zombie apocalypse, well then I'd be a very happy Swede, especially if the "Immigrant Song" played during the opening credits.
158. My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic!
158. "Mony Mony" by Tommy James and the Shondells, performed by Billy Idol
As a general rule, the studio versions of most songs are superior to a live recording of the same song. However, from time to time, a live concert version of a song will be released that blows the original studio version out of the water. Billy Idol's 1987 concert version of "Mony Mony" is one of those. And I'm not talking about the original studio version by Tommy James and the Shondells, although that is a pretty good rendition. And the video is quite enjoyable, as it features some very animated hand clapping, a nifty levitating tamborine solo, oodles of love beads, and Herve Villechaize's dad on the guitar.
Tommy James and the Shondells: Mony Mony
No, the original studio version I'm talking about is Billy Idol's 1981 cover of the song. It was a #7 hit on the dance charts, and it even had the honor of being a Pick Hit on Solid Gold. But even the power of a Solid Gold endorsement couldn't get the song to make it into the Billboard top #100. I blame Andy Gibbs' strange microphone handling during the song break. He should have used just a little more cocaine before the show to calm his nerves.
Billy Idol: Mony Mony on Solid Gold!
But the 1981 version never had near the popularity of the 1987 live version, which topped the Billboard #100. Clearly, public opinion, as well as my own, indicates the 1987 version is much, much better. I like his lower, rougher voice, the driving energy of the bass line, the steaming hot guitar licks, the crowd-yelling "yeahs," and Billy's scream of "Wooooooooow!" toward the end of the song. The video has good ratio of fist-pumping to sneering. I used to watch this video repeatedly on MTV during the 1987 Summer of Tupperware. For some reason, I also really liked the way the cute red-headed (?) in the red dress played those keyboards and smiled. I don't know her name, but I've always wanted it to be "Mony."
Billy Idol: Mony Mony Live
Of course, the ultimate endorsement of this song comes from my very own Mony Mony, who says this live version was the funnest song to dance to in high school, as everyone screamed "Yeah" throughout the song while jumping around and dancing like "white people." Yes, it's certainly hard to argue that Billy's 1981 version should be played instead of the 1987 version. But that's exactly what nearly every radio station I've ever heard has done! If a station plays the 1987 version, I will sneer and pump my fist and sing Billy's "Yeahs" and pretend the concert audience is responding to me. But if the 1981 version comes on, I curse "Dammit!" and start looking for another station.
Speaking of cursing, the song actually got banned at a lot of high schools throughout the country because of a strange tradition that emerged among audiences at discos and concerts to yell out naughty lyrics during the song. Some people claim the tradition started with the Tommy James' version. Billy says it emerged in after the live 1987 song and video came out.
Mony Mony Special Lyrics
All I know is that at 1:43 in the 1987 concert video it looks like Billy's mouthing these words. It's certainly possible that some half-drunk frat boys in London were watching MTV and wondering "What is he saying?" and eventually decided it was these special lyrics and started spreading the tradition from there. Anyway, the reason I bring it up is that if for some strange reason (like writing a top 200 list) you're looking for live concert versions of the song on YouTube, you're likely to find one with the expletives inserted by the audience and Billy himself. I wasn't in high school at the time the song was released, and when I heard it played while I was at Rick's College in 1987, the college kids I hung out with definitely didn't yell out coitus-related phrases at dances or concerts. Of course, I was studying in the library 97% of the time I wasn't in class, so I wouldn't have heard much yelling of anything. Snoring, yes. Sighs of despair, you bet. Crying in the corner because of impending failure on a crucial test, all the time. But no yelling of obscenities. That kind of potty-mouth cursing wasn't heard on that campus until many years later…on the day I got fired. Too bad I didn't have a coke-filled Gibb and some Solid Gold dancers to back me up.
As a general rule, the studio versions of most songs are superior to a live recording of the same song. However, from time to time, a live concert version of a song will be released that blows the original studio version out of the water. Billy Idol's 1987 concert version of "Mony Mony" is one of those. And I'm not talking about the original studio version by Tommy James and the Shondells, although that is a pretty good rendition. And the video is quite enjoyable, as it features some very animated hand clapping, a nifty levitating tamborine solo, oodles of love beads, and Herve Villechaize's dad on the guitar.
Tommy James and the Shondells: Mony Mony
No, the original studio version I'm talking about is Billy Idol's 1981 cover of the song. It was a #7 hit on the dance charts, and it even had the honor of being a Pick Hit on Solid Gold. But even the power of a Solid Gold endorsement couldn't get the song to make it into the Billboard top #100. I blame Andy Gibbs' strange microphone handling during the song break. He should have used just a little more cocaine before the show to calm his nerves.
Billy Idol: Mony Mony on Solid Gold!
But the 1981 version never had near the popularity of the 1987 live version, which topped the Billboard #100. Clearly, public opinion, as well as my own, indicates the 1987 version is much, much better. I like his lower, rougher voice, the driving energy of the bass line, the steaming hot guitar licks, the crowd-yelling "yeahs," and Billy's scream of "Wooooooooow!" toward the end of the song. The video has good ratio of fist-pumping to sneering. I used to watch this video repeatedly on MTV during the 1987 Summer of Tupperware. For some reason, I also really liked the way the cute red-headed (?) in the red dress played those keyboards and smiled. I don't know her name, but I've always wanted it to be "Mony."
Billy Idol: Mony Mony Live
Of course, the ultimate endorsement of this song comes from my very own Mony Mony, who says this live version was the funnest song to dance to in high school, as everyone screamed "Yeah" throughout the song while jumping around and dancing like "white people." Yes, it's certainly hard to argue that Billy's 1981 version should be played instead of the 1987 version. But that's exactly what nearly every radio station I've ever heard has done! If a station plays the 1987 version, I will sneer and pump my fist and sing Billy's "Yeahs" and pretend the concert audience is responding to me. But if the 1981 version comes on, I curse "Dammit!" and start looking for another station.
Speaking of cursing, the song actually got banned at a lot of high schools throughout the country because of a strange tradition that emerged among audiences at discos and concerts to yell out naughty lyrics during the song. Some people claim the tradition started with the Tommy James' version. Billy says it emerged in after the live 1987 song and video came out.
Mony Mony Special Lyrics
All I know is that at 1:43 in the 1987 concert video it looks like Billy's mouthing these words. It's certainly possible that some half-drunk frat boys in London were watching MTV and wondering "What is he saying?" and eventually decided it was these special lyrics and started spreading the tradition from there. Anyway, the reason I bring it up is that if for some strange reason (like writing a top 200 list) you're looking for live concert versions of the song on YouTube, you're likely to find one with the expletives inserted by the audience and Billy himself. I wasn't in high school at the time the song was released, and when I heard it played while I was at Rick's College in 1987, the college kids I hung out with definitely didn't yell out coitus-related phrases at dances or concerts. Of course, I was studying in the library 97% of the time I wasn't in class, so I wouldn't have heard much yelling of anything. Snoring, yes. Sighs of despair, you bet. Crying in the corner because of impending failure on a crucial test, all the time. But no yelling of obscenities. That kind of potty-mouth cursing wasn't heard on that campus until many years later…on the day I got fired. Too bad I didn't have a coke-filled Gibb and some Solid Gold dancers to back me up.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
159. Fresh Meat
159. "Everything Works If You Let It" by Cheap Trick
When I was working at BYU-Idaho, I was pretty happy for the first year and a half in my work. But then the bosses started making some pretty stupid rules about how we had to build online courses, some of which I believed I could not support and still uphold my professional code of ethics. At about this time, I also was told by my doctor that I had insulin resistance, and if I didn't want to get diabetes, I'd better go on a very low-carb diet and loose a lot of weight. This added to my discouragement, as eating food was (and still is) a main way that I deal with stress and depression. It was tough finding things that tasted good that I could eat, and my first few trips to the grocery store were so frustrating that several times I just walked out of the store without buying a damn thing. But I was determined to do what the doctor said, so I kept scrounging for low-carb foods until I found where they were all hidden. I also started walking and running around the indoor track that the university had just built. My goal was to walk or run at least an hour each day. To help keep my mood up during that hour of going in counter-clockwise circles, I splurged on some new digital downloads to my iTunes playlist. "Everything Works If You Let It" was one of those new tracks. I found the lyrics gave me hope that things could get better, more than any church hymn could. It also had the added benefit of injecting enough energy into my brain to motivate me to run a half-mile at a pretty good clip. I'd stretch and walk during the slow acoustic opening, and then accelerate into 6-minute mile (or less) pace as the bass guitar line began. After running to this song, I would think, "Yes! Everything WILL work out if I let it! I'll keep working really hard, and just trust that in the end the bosses will see the wisdom in practicing ethical instructional design! Now, it's time to go home and have me one of those 6-carb fudge-cicles."
After a year of working out to this song and sticking to my ethical principles, my bosses finally came around to my way of thinking about the ethical problems with their decisions. Shortly thereafter, I got a promotion, a $10,000 a year pay raise, and both written and verbal recognition from the university administration that my work had made a significant impact on the ability of the university to provide more students with a better education at a substantially lower cost. My insulin resistance disappeared, and with continued dieting and exercise, I kept off all of the 60+ pounds that I lost. The store I shopped at started stocking 17 new delicious Ben and Jerry's ice cream products with 0 carbs. My depression reversed itself, and I became happier and more content with my life than ever before. See, Cheap Trick was right! Everything WILL work out if you let it!
After reading the paragraph above, it may seem like this song was specially sent to earth by rock 'n roll angels to ensure I'd have an awesome life. But it wasn't. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Why? Because everything I wrote in that last paragraph was a big, fat, stinking lie. What really happened to me was the exact opposite. Cheap Trick was wrong. Everything will NOT work out if you let it. Everything will turn to crap no matter what you do. But even though my life is now a 24-hours-a-day skinny-dip in a bottomless pool of cynicism and hopelessness. I still like listening to the song and enjoy my memories of cruising around the indoor track at top speed to this awesome arena rock song.
Cheap Trick didn't write the song as a pick-me-up message of hope anyway. They wrote this song so they'd get some greenbacks every time someone watched the opening and closing credits of the 1980 movie "Roadie."
If you want to watch the full movie on YouTube, it's been recently pirated at the YouTube page below. But I don't recommend that you watch it in its entirety that way. It's got an annoying, persistent white glare in the middle of the screen through the whole movie. Most likely, it's there to thwart YouTube's efforts to identify and eliminate pirated videos. I say that if you're going to watch "Roadie," you'll want to get the Blu-Ray High Definition Wide Screen Director's Cut so that you can see Meat Loaf in all his long-haired glory. This was his first feature film, which means his acting will be farm fresh and free from any type of clichéd performance. Also, the movie is just a bit shy of the 90-minute mark, so there is very little chance that you'll tire of seeing him on screen. By the way, 90 minutes is enough time to cook and consume two full-sized meatloafs with all the fixin's, so it's an excellent choice for dinner-date movie.
WARNING! The opening credits feature a shortened, double-time version of "Everything Works If You Let It." If you do watch the first 2 minutes and 15 seconds of the movie, don't turn right around and listen to the full length version of the song that I posted above. Compared to the movie version, the full-length version will seem like it's being played at a snail's pace. And while I don't have anything against snails in particular, I prefer to think of this song as a fast ride. Why? Because, dammit! Meat is a man of action! Now, here's the link to the movie, just in case you can't resist taking a peek.
https://youtu.be/ZVOM7xCkz_g
Yes, indeed! Meat Loaf IS a man of action! His sensitive performance of a young hero from Texas reminded me of another young actor that would eventually play the greatest Texan hero of all time. That's right, I'm talking about...
Young Chuck Norris!
Okay, I admit that was a pretty long stretch to get to an excuse to watch the Young Chuck Norris video. But it was totally worth it. Right?! And I'll never apologize for Norrisizing any of my Top 200 posts, because Young Chuck Norris would never say he's sorry. He'd round-house kick you in the face and then break three ribs with a karate punch to your heart before locking in a death-hold grip on your throat and crushing your larynx so you can't cry for help while your life comes to a painful, terrifying end.
Coincidentally, that's exactly what I wanted to do to my bosses when I got fired. Hopefully, that'll work out for me someday.
When I was working at BYU-Idaho, I was pretty happy for the first year and a half in my work. But then the bosses started making some pretty stupid rules about how we had to build online courses, some of which I believed I could not support and still uphold my professional code of ethics. At about this time, I also was told by my doctor that I had insulin resistance, and if I didn't want to get diabetes, I'd better go on a very low-carb diet and loose a lot of weight. This added to my discouragement, as eating food was (and still is) a main way that I deal with stress and depression. It was tough finding things that tasted good that I could eat, and my first few trips to the grocery store were so frustrating that several times I just walked out of the store without buying a damn thing. But I was determined to do what the doctor said, so I kept scrounging for low-carb foods until I found where they were all hidden. I also started walking and running around the indoor track that the university had just built. My goal was to walk or run at least an hour each day. To help keep my mood up during that hour of going in counter-clockwise circles, I splurged on some new digital downloads to my iTunes playlist. "Everything Works If You Let It" was one of those new tracks. I found the lyrics gave me hope that things could get better, more than any church hymn could. It also had the added benefit of injecting enough energy into my brain to motivate me to run a half-mile at a pretty good clip. I'd stretch and walk during the slow acoustic opening, and then accelerate into 6-minute mile (or less) pace as the bass guitar line began. After running to this song, I would think, "Yes! Everything WILL work out if I let it! I'll keep working really hard, and just trust that in the end the bosses will see the wisdom in practicing ethical instructional design! Now, it's time to go home and have me one of those 6-carb fudge-cicles."
After a year of working out to this song and sticking to my ethical principles, my bosses finally came around to my way of thinking about the ethical problems with their decisions. Shortly thereafter, I got a promotion, a $10,000 a year pay raise, and both written and verbal recognition from the university administration that my work had made a significant impact on the ability of the university to provide more students with a better education at a substantially lower cost. My insulin resistance disappeared, and with continued dieting and exercise, I kept off all of the 60+ pounds that I lost. The store I shopped at started stocking 17 new delicious Ben and Jerry's ice cream products with 0 carbs. My depression reversed itself, and I became happier and more content with my life than ever before. See, Cheap Trick was right! Everything WILL work out if you let it!
After reading the paragraph above, it may seem like this song was specially sent to earth by rock 'n roll angels to ensure I'd have an awesome life. But it wasn't. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Why? Because everything I wrote in that last paragraph was a big, fat, stinking lie. What really happened to me was the exact opposite. Cheap Trick was wrong. Everything will NOT work out if you let it. Everything will turn to crap no matter what you do. But even though my life is now a 24-hours-a-day skinny-dip in a bottomless pool of cynicism and hopelessness. I still like listening to the song and enjoy my memories of cruising around the indoor track at top speed to this awesome arena rock song.
Cheap Trick didn't write the song as a pick-me-up message of hope anyway. They wrote this song so they'd get some greenbacks every time someone watched the opening and closing credits of the 1980 movie "Roadie."
If you want to watch the full movie on YouTube, it's been recently pirated at the YouTube page below. But I don't recommend that you watch it in its entirety that way. It's got an annoying, persistent white glare in the middle of the screen through the whole movie. Most likely, it's there to thwart YouTube's efforts to identify and eliminate pirated videos. I say that if you're going to watch "Roadie," you'll want to get the Blu-Ray High Definition Wide Screen Director's Cut so that you can see Meat Loaf in all his long-haired glory. This was his first feature film, which means his acting will be farm fresh and free from any type of clichéd performance. Also, the movie is just a bit shy of the 90-minute mark, so there is very little chance that you'll tire of seeing him on screen. By the way, 90 minutes is enough time to cook and consume two full-sized meatloafs with all the fixin's, so it's an excellent choice for dinner-date movie.
WARNING! The opening credits feature a shortened, double-time version of "Everything Works If You Let It." If you do watch the first 2 minutes and 15 seconds of the movie, don't turn right around and listen to the full length version of the song that I posted above. Compared to the movie version, the full-length version will seem like it's being played at a snail's pace. And while I don't have anything against snails in particular, I prefer to think of this song as a fast ride. Why? Because, dammit! Meat is a man of action! Now, here's the link to the movie, just in case you can't resist taking a peek.
https://youtu.be/ZVOM7xCkz_g
Yes, indeed! Meat Loaf IS a man of action! His sensitive performance of a young hero from Texas reminded me of another young actor that would eventually play the greatest Texan hero of all time. That's right, I'm talking about...
Young Chuck Norris!
Okay, I admit that was a pretty long stretch to get to an excuse to watch the Young Chuck Norris video. But it was totally worth it. Right?! And I'll never apologize for Norrisizing any of my Top 200 posts, because Young Chuck Norris would never say he's sorry. He'd round-house kick you in the face and then break three ribs with a karate punch to your heart before locking in a death-hold grip on your throat and crushing your larynx so you can't cry for help while your life comes to a painful, terrifying end.
Coincidentally, that's exactly what I wanted to do to my bosses when I got fired. Hopefully, that'll work out for me someday.
160. Bad Wrench
160. "Blind" by Talking Heads
Obscure Lyrics + Funky Guitars + Tight Horns + Bongos + David Byrne's Weird Scream-Singing + More Bongos = Can't Stop Hitting the Replay Button
There's a Talking Heads CD in the car that is always loaded up and ready to play. Whenever "Blind" comes up, I almost always end up listening to it three or four times in a row, unless my wife is with me and says, "No! Not again! For the love of all things holy, once is enough! Next song please!" I like a lot of other Talking Heads songs, but I probably play this one the most just because there's so much going on in it, and I can't attend to all the aural yumminess in just one listening. The horns sound especially good to me, and I sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to play trumpet on this song in a Talking Heads concert. I also love the way the 3-D bongo drums pop back and forth from ear to ear. It's a stereophonic chunk of funk that has held up nicely over time. Some Talking Heads songs that I used to like a lot haven't aged very well and I like them less now. But this one is the same as it ever was. The CD version on a surround-sound stereo is much better than what you can hear on a YouTube video played over computer speakers. But when it comes to the Webernet, convenience always trumps quality, so here's a crappy video version for your instant gratification. But on the plus side, you will get to stare at a picture of a monkey holding a flower for five minutes.
There is a really strange music video for this song, but disappointingly, there aren't any monkeys in it. However, the video does feature a snaggletoothed pipe wrench with overactive salivary glands that is campaigning for president at a political rally. I know that sounds outrageously unrealistic and strange, because in today's 24-hour televised political environment we have come to expect our presidential candidates to have all their teeth. Yes, I believe we have become much more accepting of diversity in American politics, so much so that I can imagine a day not too far way when we could possibly elect a pipe wrench for president. But not one that can't smile pretty into the camera. When it comes to presidential dentals, the American People want straight, super-white teeth and lots of 'em. Without that, where would we be as a nation? England?!
The other bad thing about the video is that it cuts off the song a half-minute early. The full album version, which has another 30 seconds of delicious funk filling with a sweet guitar solo on top, is a better song.
And my last criticism of the video is that the title of the song is "Blind," but Pipe Wrench doesn't poke any eyes out in the video. Pipe just rips off the ear of a political advisor. I'm sure there is some kind of political message intended by this lobe-chomping scene. Was David Byrne trying to say that we become intellectually blind when politicians take away our ability to hear the truth? Was he presaging Mike Tyson's cannibalistic impulses? Or was he just trying to stop making sense? You can decide for yourself by clicking the link to the video below.
Music Video Political Weirdness: Blind
And now for a bit of praise regarding bongos. While they aren't as pleasing to my ear as cowbells, they are a close second. The difference? It's possible for a song to have too much of the bongo. Not so with the cowbell. "Too much cowbell" is one of those nonsense phrases where words are strung together with no discernible practical meaning, like "almost bullet-proof" or "jiggery-pokery argle-bargle" or "Jermaine Jackson's Greatest Hits."
Anyway, a well-balanced bongo sound can take a song places it would never go without it. Here's an experiment to prove my point. The 1960 song "Apache" by The Shadows is a pretty nifty ear-filler. It enjoyed popularity for a while, and then it faded from the charts. Like most hit songs, it didn't do much to change the music industry. Take a listen.
Nice song. (THAAAANKS!) But now add some bongo beats to the tune, and what do you get? A song that gave birth to hip-hop!
Yeah, Buddy! Gotta love that BONGO!
Okay, maybe this song wasn't the mother of hip-hop, but it was definitely in the delivery room during its birth, maybe as a Lamaze coach. I read on the Wikipedia that some call it "hip-hop's national anthem." Elsewhere on the netweb I read that it's one of the most sampled songs in hip-hop, and artists keep searching for new ways to incorporate samples from "Apache" into their songs.
While I realize that there are limits to what bongos can do for any song, I do think that it's pretty impressive to see how bongos can turn even truly awful stuff into something half-way entertaining. For example, you wouldn't think that bongos could fix what's wrong with Jermaine Jackson's video to the song "Dynamite." But I have created another experiment to provide convincing evidence of the healing power of the bongo.
Here's what you do.
Step 01. First, watch the "Dynamite" video below in its entirety. I don't know why anyone would choose a prison theme for a music video when the first line of the song is "I don't know too much, but I know love, the way I've been touched." But apparently Jermaine thought it was a great idea. Anyway, watch the video so you know how bad it is.
Step 02. Then click on the button to mute the sound on the "Dynamite" video.
Step 03. Then scroll up to start playing "Apache" again. Let the drum intro play while you quickly scroll back down and prepare to start the "Dynamite" video.
Step 04. Click the play button on the "Dynamite" video when you hear the first guitar notes of "Apache."
Congratulations! You're now watching the "Dynamite" video to the bongo music from "Apache." I think you'll notice a significant increase in how much you enjoy the video when there's bongo music playing.
See! Bongo makes it better!
Thank you, Science, for teaching us how to make the world better through experiments. Now if Science could only come up with some kind of psychological profile or test that could be used to identify narcissistic, sociopathic, power-hungry pipe wrenches before they seize control over the executive branch of the government and rip all of our ears off. Yeah, that would be nice. Not as nice as stereophonic bongos, but still nice.
Obscure Lyrics + Funky Guitars + Tight Horns + Bongos + David Byrne's Weird Scream-Singing + More Bongos = Can't Stop Hitting the Replay Button
There's a Talking Heads CD in the car that is always loaded up and ready to play. Whenever "Blind" comes up, I almost always end up listening to it three or four times in a row, unless my wife is with me and says, "No! Not again! For the love of all things holy, once is enough! Next song please!" I like a lot of other Talking Heads songs, but I probably play this one the most just because there's so much going on in it, and I can't attend to all the aural yumminess in just one listening. The horns sound especially good to me, and I sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to play trumpet on this song in a Talking Heads concert. I also love the way the 3-D bongo drums pop back and forth from ear to ear. It's a stereophonic chunk of funk that has held up nicely over time. Some Talking Heads songs that I used to like a lot haven't aged very well and I like them less now. But this one is the same as it ever was. The CD version on a surround-sound stereo is much better than what you can hear on a YouTube video played over computer speakers. But when it comes to the Webernet, convenience always trumps quality, so here's a crappy video version for your instant gratification. But on the plus side, you will get to stare at a picture of a monkey holding a flower for five minutes.
There is a really strange music video for this song, but disappointingly, there aren't any monkeys in it. However, the video does feature a snaggletoothed pipe wrench with overactive salivary glands that is campaigning for president at a political rally. I know that sounds outrageously unrealistic and strange, because in today's 24-hour televised political environment we have come to expect our presidential candidates to have all their teeth. Yes, I believe we have become much more accepting of diversity in American politics, so much so that I can imagine a day not too far way when we could possibly elect a pipe wrench for president. But not one that can't smile pretty into the camera. When it comes to presidential dentals, the American People want straight, super-white teeth and lots of 'em. Without that, where would we be as a nation? England?!
The other bad thing about the video is that it cuts off the song a half-minute early. The full album version, which has another 30 seconds of delicious funk filling with a sweet guitar solo on top, is a better song.
And my last criticism of the video is that the title of the song is "Blind," but Pipe Wrench doesn't poke any eyes out in the video. Pipe just rips off the ear of a political advisor. I'm sure there is some kind of political message intended by this lobe-chomping scene. Was David Byrne trying to say that we become intellectually blind when politicians take away our ability to hear the truth? Was he presaging Mike Tyson's cannibalistic impulses? Or was he just trying to stop making sense? You can decide for yourself by clicking the link to the video below.
Music Video Political Weirdness: Blind
And now for a bit of praise regarding bongos. While they aren't as pleasing to my ear as cowbells, they are a close second. The difference? It's possible for a song to have too much of the bongo. Not so with the cowbell. "Too much cowbell" is one of those nonsense phrases where words are strung together with no discernible practical meaning, like "almost bullet-proof" or "jiggery-pokery argle-bargle" or "Jermaine Jackson's Greatest Hits."
Anyway, a well-balanced bongo sound can take a song places it would never go without it. Here's an experiment to prove my point. The 1960 song "Apache" by The Shadows is a pretty nifty ear-filler. It enjoyed popularity for a while, and then it faded from the charts. Like most hit songs, it didn't do much to change the music industry. Take a listen.
Nice song. (THAAAANKS!) But now add some bongo beats to the tune, and what do you get? A song that gave birth to hip-hop!
Yeah, Buddy! Gotta love that BONGO!
Okay, maybe this song wasn't the mother of hip-hop, but it was definitely in the delivery room during its birth, maybe as a Lamaze coach. I read on the Wikipedia that some call it "hip-hop's national anthem." Elsewhere on the netweb I read that it's one of the most sampled songs in hip-hop, and artists keep searching for new ways to incorporate samples from "Apache" into their songs.
While I realize that there are limits to what bongos can do for any song, I do think that it's pretty impressive to see how bongos can turn even truly awful stuff into something half-way entertaining. For example, you wouldn't think that bongos could fix what's wrong with Jermaine Jackson's video to the song "Dynamite." But I have created another experiment to provide convincing evidence of the healing power of the bongo.
Here's what you do.
Step 01. First, watch the "Dynamite" video below in its entirety. I don't know why anyone would choose a prison theme for a music video when the first line of the song is "I don't know too much, but I know love, the way I've been touched." But apparently Jermaine thought it was a great idea. Anyway, watch the video so you know how bad it is.
Step 02. Then click on the button to mute the sound on the "Dynamite" video.
Step 03. Then scroll up to start playing "Apache" again. Let the drum intro play while you quickly scroll back down and prepare to start the "Dynamite" video.
Step 04. Click the play button on the "Dynamite" video when you hear the first guitar notes of "Apache."
Congratulations! You're now watching the "Dynamite" video to the bongo music from "Apache." I think you'll notice a significant increase in how much you enjoy the video when there's bongo music playing.
See! Bongo makes it better!
Thank you, Science, for teaching us how to make the world better through experiments. Now if Science could only come up with some kind of psychological profile or test that could be used to identify narcissistic, sociopathic, power-hungry pipe wrenches before they seize control over the executive branch of the government and rip all of our ears off. Yeah, that would be nice. Not as nice as stereophonic bongos, but still nice.
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