55. "Super Freak" by Rick James
It's funky! It's sexistesty! It's Supery! It's Freaky!
The part of this song that I love to sing the most is the "Blow Danny" command at the very end of the song. This cues a sax solo by yet another invisible saxophonist.
This is one of the most sampled songs in all of music history, and Rick James happens to be one of the most sampled artists. It's also been covered by several famous musicians, including...
Bruce Hornsby and Ricky Skaggs!
And the song has been included in many a movie soundtrack. My favorite use of the song was in "Little Miss Sunshine." Here's the gist. The girl has been coached by her grandfather in how to dance for the Little Miss Sunshine beauty contest. No one paid any attention to what the grandfather was doing, so when the girl starts dancing to "Super Freak," it's a shock to her entire family. The grandfather is dead at this point in the movie, so that's why you don't see him in the clip below. The contest organizers try to stop her from dancing, but the family intervenes and joins the girl in what may be Steve Carell's finest dance sequence ever.
Of course, the most famous sampling of this particular song has to be "You Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer.
But while MC Hammer only sings "You can't touch this," Rick James says it and he means it!
He's super freaking out!
Temptations sing!
Friday, September 29, 2017
Thursday, September 28, 2017
56. I Love Your Hat!
56. "Brick House" by The Commodores.
It's funky! It's sexisty! It's Bricky! It's Housey!
Can I possibly resist making a comment about German's and their love of big glasses, red capes, and solid gold shoulder pads?
Apparently not.
Until I saw this video, I had no idea that Lionel Richie could play the saxophone. But I bet he couldn't do it while dancin' on the ceilin'! Because all the spit would run back into the mouthpiece, and he'd drown on his own saliva.
Whenever this song comes on the radio, I feel a slight pang of guilt for singing along, as the song promotes an unrealistic body image of women. Because for me, the perfect woman isn't 36-24-36. No, no, no. The perfect woman is the one who is the exact same shape and size of 1981 Marie Osmond.
Hey, Marie! Let's go down to the disco! Disco! Disco! Let's go down to the disco! Disco! Let's go!
Anyway, for me, it doesn't matter what size a woman's body is. What matters is the size of the clothes she wears. And I don't mean tight clothes. I mean big clothes. Really big clothes.
Ideally, a woman's clothes are so big she can still wear them 30 years later.
http://people.com/celebrity/marie-osmond-remarries-her-first-husband/
Bully for you, Marie! You found a dress big enough to cover a brick house, and you got married in it! Twice!
Shake it down, shake it down, shake it down now!
It's funky! It's sexisty! It's Bricky! It's Housey!
Can I possibly resist making a comment about German's and their love of big glasses, red capes, and solid gold shoulder pads?
Apparently not.
Until I saw this video, I had no idea that Lionel Richie could play the saxophone. But I bet he couldn't do it while dancin' on the ceilin'! Because all the spit would run back into the mouthpiece, and he'd drown on his own saliva.
Whenever this song comes on the radio, I feel a slight pang of guilt for singing along, as the song promotes an unrealistic body image of women. Because for me, the perfect woman isn't 36-24-36. No, no, no. The perfect woman is the one who is the exact same shape and size of 1981 Marie Osmond.
Hey, Marie! Let's go down to the disco! Disco! Disco! Let's go down to the disco! Disco! Let's go!
Anyway, for me, it doesn't matter what size a woman's body is. What matters is the size of the clothes she wears. And I don't mean tight clothes. I mean big clothes. Really big clothes.
Ideally, a woman's clothes are so big she can still wear them 30 years later.
http://people.com/celebrity/marie-osmond-remarries-her-first-husband/
Bully for you, Marie! You found a dress big enough to cover a brick house, and you got married in it! Twice!
Shake it down, shake it down, shake it down now!
58. Smoochy-smooch!
58. "Kiss" by Prince
While I cannot deny the fact that Tom Jones' version of "Kiss" is more enjoyable to listen to than Prince's original version, I get a bigger kick out of trying to sing the falsetto lyrics of Prince's song. I especially enjoy trying to scream at the end. It's fun.
However, I don't like Prince's video for the song at all. Apparently, the most shirt Prince could afford at the time was half a shirt. And like Rod Stewart, Prince is much too willing to show us his butt. So what I've done here is I've set up an alternative video to watch below while you listen to Prince's version of "Kiss."
Step 01. Hit the play button on Prince's video until you get to the 0:02 second mark. Then click stop.
Step 02. Go down to the Kiss video below and hit play but immediately pause it. Then click the mute button on the sound. The time should read 0:00.
Step 03. Hit the play button on the "Kiss" video above and immediately scroll down to the Kiss video below. Hit the play button as soon as you hear the "Kiss" music start. Then watch the Kiss video below, not the "Kiss" video above. I've put plenty of empty space below the Kiss video so you can scroll down to the point where the "Kiss" video can't be seen at all. You're welcome.
While I cannot deny the fact that Tom Jones' version of "Kiss" is more enjoyable to listen to than Prince's original version, I get a bigger kick out of trying to sing the falsetto lyrics of Prince's song. I especially enjoy trying to scream at the end. It's fun.
However, I don't like Prince's video for the song at all. Apparently, the most shirt Prince could afford at the time was half a shirt. And like Rod Stewart, Prince is much too willing to show us his butt. So what I've done here is I've set up an alternative video to watch below while you listen to Prince's version of "Kiss."
Step 01. Hit the play button on Prince's video until you get to the 0:02 second mark. Then click stop.
Step 02. Go down to the Kiss video below and hit play but immediately pause it. Then click the mute button on the sound. The time should read 0:00.
Step 03. Hit the play button on the "Kiss" video above and immediately scroll down to the Kiss video below. Hit the play button as soon as you hear the "Kiss" music start. Then watch the Kiss video below, not the "Kiss" video above. I've put plenty of empty space below the Kiss video so you can scroll down to the point where the "Kiss" video can't be seen at all. You're welcome.
Monday, September 25, 2017
57. Benjamin Grimm
57. "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate
It's funky. It's scratchy. It's bongosy. It's sexy. It's thingy. It's Hot Chocolatey!
It's funky. It's scratchy. It's bongosy. It's sexy. It's thingy. It's Hot Chocolatey!
Sunday, September 24, 2017
59. 8
59. "Need You Tonight/Mediate" by INXS
For the song "Need You Tonight/Mediate," INXS produced the greatest rock n' roll video to ever use (a) flashcards with words ending in the sound "-ate / -eight / -eat / -ait / -aite / -ete" and (b) dumptrucks.
But that's not the reason I like this song. Well, I guess it's one reason. But it's not the ONLY reason. I like this song mainly because it reminds me of the time when I was dating Julie at Ricks. There was nothing better than driving down the road to the Grand Teton National Park in the black step-side Chevy pickup with Julie sitting next to me. She was one of my kind!
Most of the time, you'll hear "Need You Tonight" without "Mediate." And sometimes you'll hear "Need You Tonight" followed by "Mediate." But you'll never hear "Mediate" on its own. That's why it's a mystery to me why INXS would separate "Mediate" from "Need You Tonight" on it's own YouTube channel. I guess you'll just have to hit the play button on the second video when the first one stops.
Why did they dissociate "Mediate?" Ugh! Don't separate! That makes me irate! Together their great! I hate to berate or objurgate or vituperate, but it's not deadweight, so don't devaluate or isolate or bifurcate or amputate or obliterate or annihilate the first song's mate! "Mediate" should integrate and conjugate and culminate with lyrics that illuminate, not indoctrinate or pontificate or explicate why I have to rehydrate after I urinate or defecate, otherwise I'll ulcerate or constipate or flatulate, which can irritate or asphyxiate, so ventilate at a rapid rate, or you'll suffocate.
Burt.
For the song "Need You Tonight/Mediate," INXS produced the greatest rock n' roll video to ever use (a) flashcards with words ending in the sound "-ate / -eight / -eat / -ait / -aite / -ete" and (b) dumptrucks.
But that's not the reason I like this song. Well, I guess it's one reason. But it's not the ONLY reason. I like this song mainly because it reminds me of the time when I was dating Julie at Ricks. There was nothing better than driving down the road to the Grand Teton National Park in the black step-side Chevy pickup with Julie sitting next to me. She was one of my kind!
Most of the time, you'll hear "Need You Tonight" without "Mediate." And sometimes you'll hear "Need You Tonight" followed by "Mediate." But you'll never hear "Mediate" on its own. That's why it's a mystery to me why INXS would separate "Mediate" from "Need You Tonight" on it's own YouTube channel. I guess you'll just have to hit the play button on the second video when the first one stops.
Why did they dissociate "Mediate?" Ugh! Don't separate! That makes me irate! Together their great! I hate to berate or objurgate or vituperate, but it's not deadweight, so don't devaluate or isolate or bifurcate or amputate or obliterate or annihilate the first song's mate! "Mediate" should integrate and conjugate and culminate with lyrics that illuminate, not indoctrinate or pontificate or explicate why I have to rehydrate after I urinate or defecate, otherwise I'll ulcerate or constipate or flatulate, which can irritate or asphyxiate, so ventilate at a rapid rate, or you'll suffocate.
Burt.
Friday, September 22, 2017
60. McDaniels Song
60. "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart
At times there is great shame in honestly admitting one's musical likes and dislikes. This is one of those times.
It's crass.
It's vulgar.
It's disco.
Yet I can't help myself when this song comes on the radio. The volume goes up, and I sing it with gusto. But why?! What the hell happened to me?!
It's got to be that one memory the song triggers whenever I hear it.
I'm 12. It's dark. It's winter. I'm riding in the car in that spot on Hawkins road just past the Burmester's house but not quite to the McDaniel's road turnoff. "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" starts playing on the radio. Renda has to be driving, because Mom wouldn't have let it play. And play it does. And we take the McDaniels road turnoff. This is the sound of 1978.
In case you missed them, here are the most notable parts of the above video for this song. Remember, this represents the apex of music video for 1978. It never really got better than this.
0:01 Sugar.
0:03 Sugar.
0:05 Is that a gong?! Why is that there? There's no gong in this song!
0:07 Closeup of the ghostly visage of Rod Stewart's eyes.
0:11 Who is this ghost woman?
0:19 The hook! A 70s synthesizer sound like no other!
0:27 Everybody's talkin' bout my tight pants. I got my tight pants. I got my tight pants on!
0:29 Is that Steven Wright on the guitar?
0:35 Handlebar mustache!
0:36 We're #1!
0:39 Who watches that small of a TV at a bar? Bar's are supposed to have big TVs! Even in the 70s!
0:42 What is she looking at? Hello! I'm up here!
0:43 Mouth twitching is a lost art!
0:45 Handlebar mustache!
0:47 That straw doesn't have a flexible accordion bendy part. I like the accordion.
0:48 Nostril flaring is a lost art!
0:51 Wait! Rod Stewart is at a bar watching himself sing on TV?! I wonder who he's really in love with.
1:03 He really dodged a bullet there!
1:05 Why are the guitarists singing into the microphone? Rod's the only voice on this song!
1:08 Handlebar mustache!
1:09 Drumstick twirl!
1:23 Staring contest at the bar. Rod blinks first.
1:27 The straw goes from her lips to her hand. Where's the drink?
1:29 The dress is magical!
1:31 What the hell is she looking at down there?!
1:38 Where did her straw go?! Why did her dress change back?!
1:43 They're leaving the bar because the Rod Stewart TV show wasn't entertaining enough to stick around to watch the end.
1:52 Handlebar mustache!
1:53 Hide and seek behind guitar necks. Clever hiding spot. No one will ever look there.
2:01 Handlebar mustache!
2:03 Beer bottle by the keyboard. He's drinking on the job.
2:09 Doh! The guitarist's big fat head is blocking my view of the handlebar mustache!
2:11 Why is Rod hiding his mouth? Did he forget the lyrics?
2:13 Wait! They went home to watch the Rod Stewart TV show on the exact same size television? This makes no sense!
2:17 Rod really likes watching himself on TV! He's got a girl in his bed, and he's watching TV instead of...
2:19 Okay, he finally went in for a kiss.
2:25 Take a seat, Rod. Let the saxophonist take over from here.
2:27 Where's the guy playing the saxophone?
2:31 Why is the guitarist bopping up and down? Is someone shooting at him?
2:33 Handlebar mustache!
2:35 Such subtle innuendo in the choreography. I don't get it Rod. What are you trying to say?
2:41 Really? There's four guitarists but not a single saxophone player?
2:45 Handlebar mustache!
2:51 Drumstick twirl!
2:53 Handlebar mustache!
2:59 It's dawn and Rod's asleep, but the same TV show is still on.
3:07 Give yourself a hug, Rod. You deserve it!
3:09 Oh! Nice wristwatch!
3:19 He stops kissing her to watch himself on TV again.
3:31 Is that guitarist in back wearing a black beret? Is this French TV? Because that would explain a lot.
3:41 Apparently, the invisible saxophonist has not yet finished his work.
3:47 Why is Rod's ghostly visage watching the back of his own head?
3:58 Lip pursing is a lost art!
4:01 Yes, Rod, we see your ass. Everybody's talkin' bout your tight pants.
4:09 Again, what is so fascinating about the back of Rod's head?
4:11 Is he playing peek-a-boo with me?
4:15 He IS playing peek-a-boo with me!
4:17 Handlebar mustache!
4:27 Might as well jump.
4:31 Will he ever come down?
4:34 After conquering gravity, Rod fades into darkness. Or are we seeing a closeup of his tight pants again?
4:37 Nope. It's over.
At times there is great shame in honestly admitting one's musical likes and dislikes. This is one of those times.
It's crass.
It's vulgar.
It's disco.
Yet I can't help myself when this song comes on the radio. The volume goes up, and I sing it with gusto. But why?! What the hell happened to me?!
It's got to be that one memory the song triggers whenever I hear it.
I'm 12. It's dark. It's winter. I'm riding in the car in that spot on Hawkins road just past the Burmester's house but not quite to the McDaniel's road turnoff. "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" starts playing on the radio. Renda has to be driving, because Mom wouldn't have let it play. And play it does. And we take the McDaniels road turnoff. This is the sound of 1978.
In case you missed them, here are the most notable parts of the above video for this song. Remember, this represents the apex of music video for 1978. It never really got better than this.
0:01 Sugar.
0:03 Sugar.
0:05 Is that a gong?! Why is that there? There's no gong in this song!
0:07 Closeup of the ghostly visage of Rod Stewart's eyes.
0:11 Who is this ghost woman?
0:19 The hook! A 70s synthesizer sound like no other!
0:27 Everybody's talkin' bout my tight pants. I got my tight pants. I got my tight pants on!
0:29 Is that Steven Wright on the guitar?
0:35 Handlebar mustache!
0:36 We're #1!
0:39 Who watches that small of a TV at a bar? Bar's are supposed to have big TVs! Even in the 70s!
0:42 What is she looking at? Hello! I'm up here!
0:43 Mouth twitching is a lost art!
0:45 Handlebar mustache!
0:47 That straw doesn't have a flexible accordion bendy part. I like the accordion.
0:48 Nostril flaring is a lost art!
0:51 Wait! Rod Stewart is at a bar watching himself sing on TV?! I wonder who he's really in love with.
1:03 He really dodged a bullet there!
1:05 Why are the guitarists singing into the microphone? Rod's the only voice on this song!
1:08 Handlebar mustache!
1:09 Drumstick twirl!
1:23 Staring contest at the bar. Rod blinks first.
1:27 The straw goes from her lips to her hand. Where's the drink?
1:29 The dress is magical!
1:31 What the hell is she looking at down there?!
1:38 Where did her straw go?! Why did her dress change back?!
1:43 They're leaving the bar because the Rod Stewart TV show wasn't entertaining enough to stick around to watch the end.
1:52 Handlebar mustache!
1:53 Hide and seek behind guitar necks. Clever hiding spot. No one will ever look there.
2:01 Handlebar mustache!
2:03 Beer bottle by the keyboard. He's drinking on the job.
2:09 Doh! The guitarist's big fat head is blocking my view of the handlebar mustache!
2:11 Why is Rod hiding his mouth? Did he forget the lyrics?
2:13 Wait! They went home to watch the Rod Stewart TV show on the exact same size television? This makes no sense!
2:17 Rod really likes watching himself on TV! He's got a girl in his bed, and he's watching TV instead of...
2:19 Okay, he finally went in for a kiss.
2:25 Take a seat, Rod. Let the saxophonist take over from here.
2:27 Where's the guy playing the saxophone?
2:31 Why is the guitarist bopping up and down? Is someone shooting at him?
2:33 Handlebar mustache!
2:35 Such subtle innuendo in the choreography. I don't get it Rod. What are you trying to say?
2:41 Really? There's four guitarists but not a single saxophone player?
2:45 Handlebar mustache!
2:51 Drumstick twirl!
2:53 Handlebar mustache!
2:59 It's dawn and Rod's asleep, but the same TV show is still on.
3:07 Give yourself a hug, Rod. You deserve it!
3:09 Oh! Nice wristwatch!
3:19 He stops kissing her to watch himself on TV again.
3:31 Is that guitarist in back wearing a black beret? Is this French TV? Because that would explain a lot.
3:41 Apparently, the invisible saxophonist has not yet finished his work.
3:47 Why is Rod's ghostly visage watching the back of his own head?
3:58 Lip pursing is a lost art!
4:01 Yes, Rod, we see your ass. Everybody's talkin' bout your tight pants.
4:09 Again, what is so fascinating about the back of Rod's head?
4:11 Is he playing peek-a-boo with me?
4:15 He IS playing peek-a-boo with me!
4:17 Handlebar mustache!
4:27 Might as well jump.
4:31 Will he ever come down?
4:34 After conquering gravity, Rod fades into darkness. Or are we seeing a closeup of his tight pants again?
4:37 Nope. It's over.
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
61. Froplay
61. "Foreplay/Long Time" by Boston
"Foreplay" and "Long Time"--three words rarely heard in the same sentence, much less right next to each other. When they are heard together, it's usually in the form of a request, not a statement of fact. That's what I imagine, anyway. I've never heard those words uttered by anyone other than DJs on the radio. You would think that anyone who would use three words as the title to a song would have an overblown ego and fancy themselves as the world's greatest lover.
But you'd be wrong. It turns out Tom Scholz is a pretty down-to-earth guy--at least for a guitar hero/keyboard hero/engineer. That's according to the NPR/NOVA folks that put together this exposé on "The Secret Life of Scientists & Engineers." (Shhhh! Don't tell anyone I'm a rock star! I don't want the word to get out or my career as a scientist and/or engineer will be ruined!)
While Tom Scholz is an amazing composer, musician, and engineer, he stinks as a marketer. I imagine that most men, if they could buy a pedal that would sustain the sounds of "Foreplay" indefinitely, they'd pay pretty much any price for it. And they'd probably want two or three of them.
Of course, the way that pedal would sustain the sounds in a highly controlled studio setting wouldn't necessarily be the way it would work live. And it's the live performance that would really matter with this particular pedal. It's kind of like the difference between hearing a song on a record played on the home stereo and hearing that same song played live. Sometimes the songs sound better and are a lot more exciting when played live--like every Billy Joel song at every Billy Joel concert I've attended. But sometimes the live performance sounds a lot worse.
While Brad Delp's singing in the video above is pretty bad compared to the recorded version, I have to admit that the record could never convey the sheer magnificence of the drummer's fro! It is a fro for the ages! Surpassed in fro-glory only by that of Billy Preston's peerless head of hair.
All hair aside, I think Boston's 1970s-ish live stage show is a bit disappointing. You're Boston, dammit! Get a SPACESHIP up on stage for crying out loud! Guess I'll have to go to an ELO concert to get my spaceship fix.
In the interest of fairness, I have to revisit the topic of Tom Scholz's character. The NPR/NOVA interview makes him come off looking like a saint. But if you look at all the lawsuits brought by and against Tom and his Boston bandmates, including one by Sib Hashian, you'd think Tom's a real douchebag. In fact, he sued (and lost) Brad Delp's widow for defamation when in a Boston Herald interview she blamed Brad's 2007 suicide on the stress brought on by conflict with Scholz. You've got to have a shriveled heart to go after the widow of a guy that helped make you a multi-millionaire before he offed himself. That's a pretty damn cold way to treat the family of a former bandmate, regardless of how many times Delp's voice failed to hit the right notes during their live performances.
Interesting Sib sidebar #1--Sib's daughter, Lauren, is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's girlfriend, and they had a daughter together. The girl is 1/4th Sib. The other 3/4ths is an inseparable mixture of baked halibut and steroids.
Interesting Sib sidebar #2--Sib died while playing the drums this year (March 22, 2017) on a legends-of-rock cruise ship tour--a very Spinal Tappy way for a drummer to go.
Anyway, you must be wondering why this song is on my list. It's because I distinctly remember hearing this song after my mission as I came out of the Pocatello welcome-to-downtown-from-under-the-railroad tunnel and drove past the First National Bar, which was partly owned by our old psychology professor, Coke Brown (talk about your freaky hairdos!). I hadn't heard "Foreplay/Long Time" for...well...a long time, what with the mission thing lasting over two years followed by a year of studying at Ricks that involved very little listening to rock stations on the radio. The next day I went to Budget Tapes and Records and asked if they had a tape of Boston's first album--which was conveniently titled "Boston"--with that song on it. They didn't. They just had "Third Stage," which I already had. Apparently, the owners of Budget Tapes and Records were the ones on a strict budget. They couldn't even afford to have a single copy of all of Boston's albums for sale at the same time. But I did find an RTZ (Return to Zero) tape featuring Brad Delp as lead singer, so I bought that instead. It wasn't as good as a Boston album, but it sounded enough like Boston to make me satisfied I hadn't been completely ripped off.
Why my brain has chosen to remember a First National Bar driveby and that tape purchase over so many other things I've done in life is a mystery to me. Yet that's what pops into my head every time this song is played. And for some inexplicable reason, I like that memory--in much the same way as I like Sib and Billy's bearded fros and Gabe's mustache. It's all weird, but kind of tickley-fun.
"Foreplay" and "Long Time"--three words rarely heard in the same sentence, much less right next to each other. When they are heard together, it's usually in the form of a request, not a statement of fact. That's what I imagine, anyway. I've never heard those words uttered by anyone other than DJs on the radio. You would think that anyone who would use three words as the title to a song would have an overblown ego and fancy themselves as the world's greatest lover.
But you'd be wrong. It turns out Tom Scholz is a pretty down-to-earth guy--at least for a guitar hero/keyboard hero/engineer. That's according to the NPR/NOVA folks that put together this exposé on "The Secret Life of Scientists & Engineers." (Shhhh! Don't tell anyone I'm a rock star! I don't want the word to get out or my career as a scientist and/or engineer will be ruined!)
While Tom Scholz is an amazing composer, musician, and engineer, he stinks as a marketer. I imagine that most men, if they could buy a pedal that would sustain the sounds of "Foreplay" indefinitely, they'd pay pretty much any price for it. And they'd probably want two or three of them.
Of course, the way that pedal would sustain the sounds in a highly controlled studio setting wouldn't necessarily be the way it would work live. And it's the live performance that would really matter with this particular pedal. It's kind of like the difference between hearing a song on a record played on the home stereo and hearing that same song played live. Sometimes the songs sound better and are a lot more exciting when played live--like every Billy Joel song at every Billy Joel concert I've attended. But sometimes the live performance sounds a lot worse.
While Brad Delp's singing in the video above is pretty bad compared to the recorded version, I have to admit that the record could never convey the sheer magnificence of the drummer's fro! It is a fro for the ages! Surpassed in fro-glory only by that of Billy Preston's peerless head of hair.
 |
| Sib Hashian--Secret love child of Gabe Kaplan and Billy Preston? |
 |
| I once had a bubble-gum card with this man on it. I was going for a full set of Sweathogs cards, but Bill's store stopped carrying them. Damn you, Bill! Fortune and glory could have been mine if it weren't for the vagaries of your candy shelf! |
 |
| Billy Preston--a fro so big it can't all fit in one picture. |
In the interest of fairness, I have to revisit the topic of Tom Scholz's character. The NPR/NOVA interview makes him come off looking like a saint. But if you look at all the lawsuits brought by and against Tom and his Boston bandmates, including one by Sib Hashian, you'd think Tom's a real douchebag. In fact, he sued (and lost) Brad Delp's widow for defamation when in a Boston Herald interview she blamed Brad's 2007 suicide on the stress brought on by conflict with Scholz. You've got to have a shriveled heart to go after the widow of a guy that helped make you a multi-millionaire before he offed himself. That's a pretty damn cold way to treat the family of a former bandmate, regardless of how many times Delp's voice failed to hit the right notes during their live performances.
Interesting Sib sidebar #1--Sib's daughter, Lauren, is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's girlfriend, and they had a daughter together. The girl is 1/4th Sib. The other 3/4ths is an inseparable mixture of baked halibut and steroids.
Interesting Sib sidebar #2--Sib died while playing the drums this year (March 22, 2017) on a legends-of-rock cruise ship tour--a very Spinal Tappy way for a drummer to go.
Anyway, you must be wondering why this song is on my list. It's because I distinctly remember hearing this song after my mission as I came out of the Pocatello welcome-to-downtown-from-under-the-railroad tunnel and drove past the First National Bar, which was partly owned by our old psychology professor, Coke Brown (talk about your freaky hairdos!). I hadn't heard "Foreplay/Long Time" for...well...a long time, what with the mission thing lasting over two years followed by a year of studying at Ricks that involved very little listening to rock stations on the radio. The next day I went to Budget Tapes and Records and asked if they had a tape of Boston's first album--which was conveniently titled "Boston"--with that song on it. They didn't. They just had "Third Stage," which I already had. Apparently, the owners of Budget Tapes and Records were the ones on a strict budget. They couldn't even afford to have a single copy of all of Boston's albums for sale at the same time. But I did find an RTZ (Return to Zero) tape featuring Brad Delp as lead singer, so I bought that instead. It wasn't as good as a Boston album, but it sounded enough like Boston to make me satisfied I hadn't been completely ripped off.
Why my brain has chosen to remember a First National Bar driveby and that tape purchase over so many other things I've done in life is a mystery to me. Yet that's what pops into my head every time this song is played. And for some inexplicable reason, I like that memory--in much the same way as I like Sib and Billy's bearded fros and Gabe's mustache. It's all weird, but kind of tickley-fun.
Monday, September 18, 2017
62. On My Case
62. "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon
In high school, this was one of my favorite anti-seminary songs. It wasn't that I didn't like seminary. I mean, the building did have a foozball table, so it wasn't all bad. But there were times in class when I wondered why most of the adults in church that were constantly preaching at us always assumed the worst about us teenagers. Yeah, we weren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we weren't evil either. That's right, Mr. out-of-town fireside speaker--Billy Joel songs are NOT evil!
As a farm boy that spent a good portion of his summer driving a big orange-red tractor, I also enjoyed hearing this song on the radio and singing along with the lines "I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round. I really love to watch them roll." In fact, I did like to watch them roll. And it's a good thing I did. Because if I hadn't learned to love watching tractor wheels roll for 16-hours a day, I would have lost my damn mind!
Also, as a fan of unintentional fart references in song lyrics, "I just had to let it go" is a pure musical gift--especially when that line comes after the high-pitched singing of "No longer riding on the merry-go-ra-HOUND!" It's kind of like you're riding the merry-go-round, and the centrifugal force makes you yoko your pants, and there's nothing you can do about it. You just had toooOOOOO let it go-ohhh-oh-oh-ohhh-OH-ohhhh.
In high school, this was one of my favorite anti-seminary songs. It wasn't that I didn't like seminary. I mean, the building did have a foozball table, so it wasn't all bad. But there were times in class when I wondered why most of the adults in church that were constantly preaching at us always assumed the worst about us teenagers. Yeah, we weren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we weren't evil either. That's right, Mr. out-of-town fireside speaker--Billy Joel songs are NOT evil!
As a farm boy that spent a good portion of his summer driving a big orange-red tractor, I also enjoyed hearing this song on the radio and singing along with the lines "I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round. I really love to watch them roll." In fact, I did like to watch them roll. And it's a good thing I did. Because if I hadn't learned to love watching tractor wheels roll for 16-hours a day, I would have lost my damn mind!
Also, as a fan of unintentional fart references in song lyrics, "I just had to let it go" is a pure musical gift--especially when that line comes after the high-pitched singing of "No longer riding on the merry-go-ra-HOUND!" It's kind of like you're riding the merry-go-round, and the centrifugal force makes you yoko your pants, and there's nothing you can do about it. You just had toooOOOOO let it go-ohhh-oh-oh-ohhh-OH-ohhhh.
Sunday, September 17, 2017
63. Wizard of Iz
63. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole
If there's any song that's been covered more than "What a Wonderful World," it would have to be "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." The song really belongs to Judy Garland. And say what you will about Judy's singing, it just seems to be a perfect fit for this song.
As good as Judy's version is, my favorite recording of this song is by Iz. I heard it the first time on a television commercial by Apple computer that was hawking some whoop-de-doo computery thing-a-ma-jig dreamt up by Steven Wright.
Or was it Steven Jobs? I get the two confused.
Anyway, I like Iz's version best because of its simplicity. It's Iz and a uke. That's all. And I think that if there really is a place somewhere over the rainbow, it's a simple place where people enjoy simple things, like rainbows and bluebirds and lemon drops and chimney tops (but not chimney bottoms). And it probably looks like Hawaii.
If there's any song that's been covered more than "What a Wonderful World," it would have to be "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." The song really belongs to Judy Garland. And say what you will about Judy's singing, it just seems to be a perfect fit for this song.
As good as Judy's version is, my favorite recording of this song is by Iz. I heard it the first time on a television commercial by Apple computer that was hawking some whoop-de-doo computery thing-a-ma-jig dreamt up by Steven Wright.
Or was it Steven Jobs? I get the two confused.
Anyway, I like Iz's version best because of its simplicity. It's Iz and a uke. That's all. And I think that if there really is a place somewhere over the rainbow, it's a simple place where people enjoy simple things, like rainbows and bluebirds and lemon drops and chimney tops (but not chimney bottoms). And it probably looks like Hawaii.
Saturday, September 16, 2017
64. Eagle Scat
64. "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong
Yes, it's cheesy. Yes, it's been covered by innumerable artists. Yes, it's overplayed in funeral videos. But Louis is one of my trumpet jazz heroes, and I can't not include him in my top-200 list.
What? You say he's not playing the trumpet in this song?! Well, that's how good he was on the trumpet--he didn't even have to play it to make a hit record! He just had to hold it while he sang.
I've got lots of great musicians on my top-200 list. But none of them approach Louis' genius or his impact on musical history. It's hard to overstate his importance to jazz music, or all music for that matter, but here's the Biography Channel's attempt at doing so.
In my youth, we had a Louis Armstrong record at home that had "Ain't Misbehavin'" on it. I thought the lyrics and Louis' singing made for a funny combo. I played it so many times that I memorized most of the lyrics, including the little scats. (I wasn't a talented enough trumpet player to memorize his trumpet solo.) There was lots more scatting on other songs on the record, so I would sometimes entertain myself while milking the cows by scatting in a Satchmo voice. I think the cows liked it.
During the beginning of my junior year in high school, after one victorious game, the seniors on the football team--many of which were MarVals--were sitting in the back of the bus and singing "This Little Light of Mine." (They didn't sing if we lost.) Now, I didn't like the MarVals. Many of them seemed to think they were the elite music group in the school, and completely dismissed the idea that the band might be better at playing music than they were at singing it. So in an attempt to ruin their song, I started scatting in between the lines. But instead of making them mad and ruining the song for them, like I had sincerely hoped to do, they liked my Louis-style scatting so much that they made me do it over and over. And that's how I ended up scatting like Satchmo to "This Little Light of Mine" in front of the entire student body out on the football field during a pep rally.
Zut-n-zah-zahhh bo-dit-n-do dozee-dozee zo-zahhhh!
Yes, it's cheesy. Yes, it's been covered by innumerable artists. Yes, it's overplayed in funeral videos. But Louis is one of my trumpet jazz heroes, and I can't not include him in my top-200 list.
What? You say he's not playing the trumpet in this song?! Well, that's how good he was on the trumpet--he didn't even have to play it to make a hit record! He just had to hold it while he sang.
I've got lots of great musicians on my top-200 list. But none of them approach Louis' genius or his impact on musical history. It's hard to overstate his importance to jazz music, or all music for that matter, but here's the Biography Channel's attempt at doing so.
In my youth, we had a Louis Armstrong record at home that had "Ain't Misbehavin'" on it. I thought the lyrics and Louis' singing made for a funny combo. I played it so many times that I memorized most of the lyrics, including the little scats. (I wasn't a talented enough trumpet player to memorize his trumpet solo.) There was lots more scatting on other songs on the record, so I would sometimes entertain myself while milking the cows by scatting in a Satchmo voice. I think the cows liked it.
During the beginning of my junior year in high school, after one victorious game, the seniors on the football team--many of which were MarVals--were sitting in the back of the bus and singing "This Little Light of Mine." (They didn't sing if we lost.) Now, I didn't like the MarVals. Many of them seemed to think they were the elite music group in the school, and completely dismissed the idea that the band might be better at playing music than they were at singing it. So in an attempt to ruin their song, I started scatting in between the lines. But instead of making them mad and ruining the song for them, like I had sincerely hoped to do, they liked my Louis-style scatting so much that they made me do it over and over. And that's how I ended up scatting like Satchmo to "This Little Light of Mine" in front of the entire student body out on the football field during a pep rally.
Zut-n-zah-zahhh bo-dit-n-do dozee-dozee zo-zahhhh!
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
65. Send me up a drink!
65. "Major Tom" by Peter Schilling
One of the perks of living in the basement hallway my senior year in high school was that I had pretty much full control over the downstairs stereo. So I placed the two speakers on both sides of my bed so that I could listen to records and FM stations while laying in my bed at night with the lights off. This song is one that I distinctly remember hearing while lying in my stereophonic bed. It was especially exciting to hear one of the special versions of this song that would rarely get air time. There was dance club extended version that went on for over 8 minutes, and there was this German version that let me not only enjoy the music but also triggered pleasurable memories of sitting next to Tammy Baker in German class. Achtung Baby!
It was only after I developed a liking to this song that the David Bowie "Major Tom" also became a favorite song. It also made me like Elton John's "Rocket Man" a little more. Having been a fan of the original Star Trek series and the Star Trek cartoons, there was no way I could resist the driving bass notes of this outer space rock 'n roll. And apparently, I'm not the only one. Hundreds have covered this song over the last 30+ years. Among the best of the worst of these are...
Plastic Bertrand (French Version)
Jay del Alma featuring Peter Shilling (Spanish Version)
Jonas Warnerbring (Swedish version)
Shiny Toy Guns (Shameless commercial sellout version)
William Shatner (What the HELL?! version)
The Space Lady (Slightly saner than Shatner version)
One of the perks of living in the basement hallway my senior year in high school was that I had pretty much full control over the downstairs stereo. So I placed the two speakers on both sides of my bed so that I could listen to records and FM stations while laying in my bed at night with the lights off. This song is one that I distinctly remember hearing while lying in my stereophonic bed. It was especially exciting to hear one of the special versions of this song that would rarely get air time. There was dance club extended version that went on for over 8 minutes, and there was this German version that let me not only enjoy the music but also triggered pleasurable memories of sitting next to Tammy Baker in German class. Achtung Baby!
It was only after I developed a liking to this song that the David Bowie "Major Tom" also became a favorite song. It also made me like Elton John's "Rocket Man" a little more. Having been a fan of the original Star Trek series and the Star Trek cartoons, there was no way I could resist the driving bass notes of this outer space rock 'n roll. And apparently, I'm not the only one. Hundreds have covered this song over the last 30+ years. Among the best of the worst of these are...
Plastic Bertrand (French Version)
Jay del Alma featuring Peter Shilling (Spanish Version)
Jonas Warnerbring (Swedish version)
Shiny Toy Guns (Shameless commercial sellout version)
William Shatner (What the HELL?! version)
The Space Lady (Slightly saner than Shatner version)
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
66. Wear the funky, funky eyepatch
66. "Space Oddity" by David Bowie
In revealing the title of number 66 on the list, I'm guessing that you're guessing what number 65 will be. The two go hand-in-hand for me. When I hear one, I think of the other. But honestly, without number 65, I probably wouldn't have ever developed an affinity for this song during my teenage years. That's because back then 1970s David Bowie was too weird for me. I much preferred 1980s David Bowie. However, when I watch the video below, I realize that I kind of like 1970s David Bowie better now.
Hey, kids! Do you like songs about astronauts that get so freaked out on protein pills that they leave their wives back on Earth to go on a never-ending suicidal space walk into to a cold, dark infinity? Me too!
I suppose part of the reason this song has become so popular is because of people in my generation grew up during the heyday of the U.S. space program. I was a little over three years old when Neal Armstrong set foot on the moon, and I have a memory of being a young boy outside looking up at the moon and thinking that everybody was telling me there was a man on it, but I couldn't see him. Not even if I squinted. Back then, I thought all astronauts did was zoom around on rockets while they drank tang.
Mmmmm.... Tang.....
Of course, now as an adult, I have a much more sophisticated view of what life would be like as an astronaut. I think it would have to look a little something like this.
In revealing the title of number 66 on the list, I'm guessing that you're guessing what number 65 will be. The two go hand-in-hand for me. When I hear one, I think of the other. But honestly, without number 65, I probably wouldn't have ever developed an affinity for this song during my teenage years. That's because back then 1970s David Bowie was too weird for me. I much preferred 1980s David Bowie. However, when I watch the video below, I realize that I kind of like 1970s David Bowie better now.
Hey, kids! Do you like songs about astronauts that get so freaked out on protein pills that they leave their wives back on Earth to go on a never-ending suicidal space walk into to a cold, dark infinity? Me too!
I suppose part of the reason this song has become so popular is because of people in my generation grew up during the heyday of the U.S. space program. I was a little over three years old when Neal Armstrong set foot on the moon, and I have a memory of being a young boy outside looking up at the moon and thinking that everybody was telling me there was a man on it, but I couldn't see him. Not even if I squinted. Back then, I thought all astronauts did was zoom around on rockets while they drank tang.
Mmmmm.... Tang.....
Of course, now as an adult, I have a much more sophisticated view of what life would be like as an astronaut. I think it would have to look a little something like this.
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