60. McDaniels Song

60. "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart

At times there is great shame in honestly admitting one's musical likes and dislikes. This is one of those times.

It's crass.

It's vulgar.

It's disco.

Yet I can't help myself when this song comes on the radio. The volume goes up, and I sing it with gusto. But why?! What the hell happened to me?!

It's got to be that one memory the song triggers whenever I hear it.

I'm 12. It's dark. It's winter. I'm riding in the car in that spot on Hawkins road just past the Burmester's house but not quite to the McDaniel's road turnoff. "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" starts playing on the radio. Renda has to be driving, because Mom wouldn't have let it play. And play it does. And we take the McDaniels road turnoff. This is the sound of 1978.



In case you missed them, here are the most notable parts of the above video for this song. Remember, this represents the apex of music video for 1978. It never really got better than this.

0:01 Sugar.
0:03 Sugar.
0:05 Is that a gong?! Why is that there? There's no gong in this song!
0:07 Closeup of the ghostly visage of Rod Stewart's eyes.
0:11 Who is this ghost woman?
0:19 The hook! A 70s synthesizer sound like no other!
0:27 Everybody's talkin' bout my tight pants. I got my tight pants. I got my tight pants on!
0:29 Is that Steven Wright on the guitar?
0:35 Handlebar mustache!
0:36 We're #1!
0:39 Who watches that small of a TV at a bar? Bar's are supposed to have big TVs! Even in the 70s!
0:42 What is she looking at? Hello! I'm up here!
0:43 Mouth twitching is a lost art!
0:45 Handlebar mustache!
0:47 That straw doesn't have a flexible accordion bendy part. I like the accordion.
0:48 Nostril flaring is a lost art!
0:51 Wait! Rod Stewart is at a bar watching himself sing on TV?! I wonder who he's really in love with.
1:03 He really dodged a bullet there!
1:05 Why are the guitarists singing into the microphone? Rod's the only voice on this song!
1:08 Handlebar mustache!
1:09 Drumstick twirl!
1:23 Staring contest at the bar. Rod blinks first.
1:27 The straw goes from her lips to her hand. Where's the drink?
1:29 The dress is magical!
1:31 What the hell is she looking at down there?!
1:38 Where did her straw go?! Why did her dress change back?!
1:43 They're leaving the bar because the Rod Stewart TV show wasn't entertaining enough to stick around to watch the end.
1:52 Handlebar mustache!
1:53 Hide and seek behind guitar necks. Clever hiding spot. No one will ever look there.
2:01 Handlebar mustache!
2:03 Beer bottle by the keyboard. He's drinking on the job.
2:09 Doh! The guitarist's big fat head is blocking my view of the handlebar mustache!
2:11 Why is Rod hiding his mouth? Did he forget the lyrics?
2:13 Wait! They went home to watch the Rod Stewart TV show on the exact same size television? This makes no sense!
2:17 Rod really likes watching himself on TV! He's got a girl in his bed, and he's watching TV instead of...
2:19 Okay, he finally went in for a kiss.
2:25 Take a seat, Rod. Let the saxophonist take over from here.
2:27 Where's the guy playing the saxophone?
2:31 Why is the guitarist bopping up and down? Is someone shooting at him?
2:33 Handlebar mustache!
2:35 Such subtle innuendo in the choreography. I don't get it Rod. What are you trying to say?
2:41 Really? There's four guitarists but not a single saxophone player?
2:45 Handlebar mustache!
2:51 Drumstick twirl!
2:53 Handlebar mustache!
2:59 It's dawn and Rod's asleep, but the same TV show is still on.
3:07 Give yourself a hug, Rod. You deserve it!
3:09 Oh! Nice wristwatch!
3:19 He stops kissing her to watch himself on TV again.
3:31 Is that guitarist in back wearing a black beret? Is this French TV? Because that would explain a lot.
3:41 Apparently, the invisible saxophonist has not yet finished his work.
3:47 Why is Rod's ghostly visage watching the back of his own head?
3:58 Lip pursing is a lost art!
4:01 Yes, Rod, we see your ass. Everybody's talkin' bout your tight pants.
4:09 Again, what is so fascinating about the back of Rod's head?
4:11 Is he playing peek-a-boo with me?
4:15 He IS playing peek-a-boo with me!
4:17 Handlebar mustache!
4:27 Might as well jump.
4:31 Will he ever come down?
4:34 After conquering gravity, Rod fades into darkness. Or are we seeing a closeup of his tight pants again?
4:37 Nope. It's over.