When I hear this song, I don't think of the blank-faced lipsticked models in the music video. I think of my wife. Really. I'm not even lying a little bit. This song came out during the summer I was engaged to Julie, and I did, in fact, find her simply irresistible.
Palmer's use of stoic-faced gyrating women in ruby-red lipstick made quite an impression on both the general public and the only Mormon celebrity on TV at the time (besides Ray Combs*).
The overt sexuality of the video made reverse parodies of it inevitable.
And Pepsi advertising execs couldn't help themselves from using these sexually suggestive images of women in swimsuits to hawk a beverage so cheap it's sold in an aluminum can. Really! Who does that?! (Warning! The following video contains suggestive winking and lip pursing.)
And if you want to waste a couple weeks of your life, just google "Simply Irresistible Parody" and watch thousands of people that think they are being exceptionally clever by spoofing the video. (They aren't.) The level of online ridiculousness surrounding this song is truly astounding.
And yet, I still like this song. Because it reminds me of my wife. And I love my wife. So much that I still find her simply irresistible. Especially when she's wearing a swimsuit and ruby-red lipstick and dancing and gyrating suggestively with a pop can in her hand while she winks and purses her lips at me.
Damn! I'm thirsty!
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*In 1996, Ray hung himself with bedsheets while being involuntarily committed to a mental hospital, so his Mormon celebrity status has diminished somewhat since that event. In his defense, he probably could have come up with a better way to kill himself if he hadn't been in lockdown. It's hard to be creative with your suicide when the only tools you've got available to you are bedsheets. Death by hanging is pretty much your only option. Inexplicably, Marie Osmond has not yet committed suicide, so her Mormon celebrity status is still rock-solid. For now. I believe her status will take a nosedive when the county coroner reveals that for the past ten years she's been purposefully poisoning herself with Nutrisystem red velvet whoopie pie (yes, that's an actual thing).
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