34. "(Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman" by The Kinks
When I wake up in the morning I also put on my clothes to keep from being depressed, but I definitely don't do it because I weigh only nine stone.
Also, I don't just want to fly like Superman. I want the super strength, super speed, super hearing, heat vision, x-ray vision, cold breath, invulnerability, and that thing where he can erase a woman's memory by kissing her. (Come to think of it, that last one might actually come in more handy than the other powers.) However, to be honest, I don't want to have to wear a cape. It seems pointless to me. If I'm impervious to any weather conditions, and I don't ever get cold, then what do I need a cape for? Wearing the skin-tight super S suit would be alright, but I'd like to lose about nine stone before I try it on.
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
35. A Little Self-Loathing Sounds Good
35. "I Hate Myself for Loving You" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
The anger goes all the way up to 11 on this song.
Ow! Ugh!
Dear Video,
Thank you for the black leather and spandex. It is much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Nardo
The anger goes all the way up to 11 on this song.
Ow! Ugh!
Dear Video,
Thank you for the black leather and spandex. It is much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Nardo
36. The Angry Yellow Wharf
36. "Separate Ways" by Journey
And now for the most desperate of post-break up songs--the one where the guy accepts the fact that they've broken up for good, but he still professes to have undying love and devotion for the woman.
If this song had been written by a country-western singer (think Willie Nelson), it probably would have had a sad, slow tempo with some wailing steel guitar bits. But Journey is a ROCK band, so the song features a driving tempo with lots of angry bass and rhythm guitar. That isn't to say that the lead guitar doesn't wail. Neal Schon knows how to make it cry, alright. But it's an angry wail.
The video features lots of angry performances, too. There's angry air guitar, angry air keyboard, angry air drums, angry singing into the camera, and angry slamming of a fist onto yellow corrugated metal. However, the drummer is wearing a foosball t-shirt, so they can't really turn the anger dial up to 11--which is the exact level my anger was set at when I used to listen to this song in high school. But it's a solid 10 and 1/2, and that's why it is the highest-ranked Journey song on this list.
Question of the Day: What is that woman doing walking around the wharf in white high heels and a tight black skirt, and why is she wearing Eddie Van Halen's t-shirt under that white jacket?
And now for the most desperate of post-break up songs--the one where the guy accepts the fact that they've broken up for good, but he still professes to have undying love and devotion for the woman.
If this song had been written by a country-western singer (think Willie Nelson), it probably would have had a sad, slow tempo with some wailing steel guitar bits. But Journey is a ROCK band, so the song features a driving tempo with lots of angry bass and rhythm guitar. That isn't to say that the lead guitar doesn't wail. Neal Schon knows how to make it cry, alright. But it's an angry wail.
The video features lots of angry performances, too. There's angry air guitar, angry air keyboard, angry air drums, angry singing into the camera, and angry slamming of a fist onto yellow corrugated metal. However, the drummer is wearing a foosball t-shirt, so they can't really turn the anger dial up to 11--which is the exact level my anger was set at when I used to listen to this song in high school. But it's a solid 10 and 1/2, and that's why it is the highest-ranked Journey song on this list.
Question of the Day: What is that woman doing walking around the wharf in white high heels and a tight black skirt, and why is she wearing Eddie Van Halen's t-shirt under that white jacket?
37. So Belch--BRAACH--In Her Ear!
37. "I Can Dream About You" by Dan Hartman
John Waite's post-break up response to missing his lost love was to wrap himself up tight in a thick blanket of denial. But Dan Hartman takes that same blanket and uses it to cover himself while he takes a nice long nap on the couch.
And what does Dan dream about? Tending bar for white people while watching a video of black people singing his song.
The opening bass line of this song was the musical inspiration to my post-break up song "So Belch"--the only song I know that features an extended belch solo. Of course, there's some mighty good belching in Weird Al songs. However, Weird Al never really explored the musical possibilities of the belch. He just used it as a type of comic punctuation. But I went far beyond that to explore the full range of the belch as a musical instrument.
That's right. I'm the Kenny G of belching!
Braaaaaaach!
(Nice belch.)
(THANKS!)
John Waite's post-break up response to missing his lost love was to wrap himself up tight in a thick blanket of denial. But Dan Hartman takes that same blanket and uses it to cover himself while he takes a nice long nap on the couch.
And what does Dan dream about? Tending bar for white people while watching a video of black people singing his song.
The opening bass line of this song was the musical inspiration to my post-break up song "So Belch"--the only song I know that features an extended belch solo. Of course, there's some mighty good belching in Weird Al songs. However, Weird Al never really explored the musical possibilities of the belch. He just used it as a type of comic punctuation. But I went far beyond that to explore the full range of the belch as a musical instrument.
That's right. I'm the Kenny G of belching!
Braaaaaaach!
(Nice belch.)
(THANKS!)
Sunday, January 20, 2019
38. He's Also Missing an Earring
38. "Missing You" by John Waite
Can you lie to yourself? So can John Waite. Repeatedly.
This is another song I think pre-Buster Phil could have sung. It's got everything Phil likes in a post-break up song--depressing lyrics, high notes that can be screamed out, and...yeah, that's pretty much it.
Can you lie to yourself? So can John Waite. Repeatedly.
This is another song I think pre-Buster Phil could have sung. It's got everything Phil likes in a post-break up song--depressing lyrics, high notes that can be screamed out, and...yeah, that's pretty much it.
39. The Feeling of March 1984 to January 1985
39. "Drive" by The Cars
A song so depressing pre-Buster Phil could have sung it.
Fun Fact: This song may hold the record for the number of different Who questions asked in a song. Of course, the record for asking the same Who question over and over in a song is held by "Who Are You?" by The Who.
A song so depressing pre-Buster Phil could have sung it.
Fun Fact: This song may hold the record for the number of different Who questions asked in a song. Of course, the record for asking the same Who question over and over in a song is held by "Who Are You?" by The Who.
40. The Feeling of February 1985
40. "One More Night" by Phil Collins
Because no one captures the hopelessness of unrequited love as well as pre-Buster Phil.
The perfect song to celebrate a year of emotional misery after slow dancing to this song with a girl that you love but that doesn't love you back.
Because no one captures the hopelessness of unrequited love as well as pre-Buster Phil.
The perfect song to celebrate a year of emotional misery after slow dancing to this song with a girl that you love but that doesn't love you back.
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