24. "Were Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister
Twisted Sister's "Stay Hungry" came out just as we graduated from high school, so most of my memories related to this song are from the summer after high school and my first year of college. Since it was an anthem of independence, it perfectly reflected my attitude at the time.
I also have a fond memory of my nephew Ryan and me singing this at the top of our lungs during a long road trip from North Platte, Nebraska to Pocatello. He laughed so hard when I flipped a double-bird at "We'll fight (yeah) you'll see! (double-bird flip)" that he nearly ran off the road. But there's not song that makes you want to let the double-bird fly like this one.
Fun Fact: I always thought "We're Not Gonna Take It" sounded like "O Come All Ye Faithful." I was right.
Sunday, January 12, 2020
25. Gloria's 8-Track Frisbee
25. "Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth
The song that inspired Gloria Burmester to turn this:
into this:
Although this was one of those forbidden songs of my youth, I have come to embrace the song whole-heartedly in my adulthood, especially during those moments when I've decided that some injustice needs to be corrected, and I'm the one that will do the correcting. That's when it becomes time to get out the cowbell and kick ass.
The song that inspired Gloria Burmester to turn this:
into this:
Although this was one of those forbidden songs of my youth, I have come to embrace the song whole-heartedly in my adulthood, especially during those moments when I've decided that some injustice needs to be corrected, and I'm the one that will do the correcting. That's when it becomes time to get out the cowbell and kick ass.
26. Sometimes a Fantasy Is All You Need
26. "Fantasy" by Aldo Nova
My favorite memory of this song happened at a Boy Scout Order of the Arrow campout at Little Lemhi.
I was there as one of the scouts that told all the new initiates (which included Sam Gunter and Chris) what they had to do for their work projects. After the ceremony where we took all the new initiates out to a place where they had to sleep by themselves (I made sure Chris had a good place to sleep), the leaders put the rest of us in the main lodge to sleep for the night. One kid a little older than me had a tape player and the "Aldo Nova" album. I remember all of us lying in the dark listening to this song and wondering if the leaders would come in and make us turn it off. They didn't. So now every time I hear the song, it triggers memories of Little Lemhi and all the scouting adventures I had there, which were quite a few.
And now, to introduce the song, is Casey Kasem.
My favorite memory of this song happened at a Boy Scout Order of the Arrow campout at Little Lemhi.
I was there as one of the scouts that told all the new initiates (which included Sam Gunter and Chris) what they had to do for their work projects. After the ceremony where we took all the new initiates out to a place where they had to sleep by themselves (I made sure Chris had a good place to sleep), the leaders put the rest of us in the main lodge to sleep for the night. One kid a little older than me had a tape player and the "Aldo Nova" album. I remember all of us lying in the dark listening to this song and wondering if the leaders would come in and make us turn it off. They didn't. So now every time I hear the song, it triggers memories of Little Lemhi and all the scouting adventures I had there, which were quite a few.
And now, to introduce the song, is Casey Kasem.
27. Sheldon's Prescient Crotch Strikes
27. "Synchronicity II" by The Police
If for no other reason, this song would have made my top 200 list simply for the following line:
"And every single meeting with his so-called superior is a humiliating kick in the crotch!"
But this song also has a crazy granny, Rice Krispies, slime at the bottom of a dark Scottish lake, picket lines, cheap tarts, something crawling to the surface of a dark Scottish loch, lemmings, suicidal rush hour traffic, and a henpecked husband with aching eyeballs.
Name one other song that combines crotch kicking with all THAT. The only way this song could be better lyrically is if it included a reference to cheese and/or pudding and/or cheese pudding.
The album from which this song came was titled "Synchronicity," and it was a chart-dominating monster that included "Every Breath You Take," "King of Pain," and "Wrapped Around Your Finger"--all charting much higher than "Synchronicity II." But I think "Synchronicity II" is a better song than all of them. Why? Because none of them have anything to do with crotch kicking. And you would think that a song titled "King of Pain" would have crotch kicking as the main focus of the lyrics. But nope, it's about a little black spot on the sun instead of large black bruise on the nards.
To be fair, those other songs would have rated higher on my top 200 list back during my senior year in high school. But as I've aged, I've come to have a deep emotional connection to "Synchronicity II" that I don't have with the other songs on the album. While all those other songs rated higher on the Billboard charts back in the day, they don't even get a spot on my current top 200 list, because even though I experience more actual strikes to my crotch during high school (Thanks, Sheldon!), since that time I've had a LOT of meetings with so-called superiors that were, emotionally speaking, humiliating kicks in the crotch. So I know the painful truth that Sting sings about in this song, and I know why there's a shadow on the door...of a cottage on the shore...of a dark Scottish lake...many miles away.
If for no other reason, this song would have made my top 200 list simply for the following line:
"And every single meeting with his so-called superior is a humiliating kick in the crotch!"
But this song also has a crazy granny, Rice Krispies, slime at the bottom of a dark Scottish lake, picket lines, cheap tarts, something crawling to the surface of a dark Scottish loch, lemmings, suicidal rush hour traffic, and a henpecked husband with aching eyeballs.
Name one other song that combines crotch kicking with all THAT. The only way this song could be better lyrically is if it included a reference to cheese and/or pudding and/or cheese pudding.
The album from which this song came was titled "Synchronicity," and it was a chart-dominating monster that included "Every Breath You Take," "King of Pain," and "Wrapped Around Your Finger"--all charting much higher than "Synchronicity II." But I think "Synchronicity II" is a better song than all of them. Why? Because none of them have anything to do with crotch kicking. And you would think that a song titled "King of Pain" would have crotch kicking as the main focus of the lyrics. But nope, it's about a little black spot on the sun instead of large black bruise on the nards.
To be fair, those other songs would have rated higher on my top 200 list back during my senior year in high school. But as I've aged, I've come to have a deep emotional connection to "Synchronicity II" that I don't have with the other songs on the album. While all those other songs rated higher on the Billboard charts back in the day, they don't even get a spot on my current top 200 list, because even though I experience more actual strikes to my crotch during high school (Thanks, Sheldon!), since that time I've had a LOT of meetings with so-called superiors that were, emotionally speaking, humiliating kicks in the crotch. So I know the painful truth that Sting sings about in this song, and I know why there's a shadow on the door...of a cottage on the shore...of a dark Scottish lake...many miles away.
Saturday, January 11, 2020
28. Why Fat and Psychopathic Wives Love Pudding
28. "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd -- more specifically, "Another Brick in the Wall, Part 1" AND "The Happiest Days of Our Lives" AND "Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2" (but not "Another Brick in the Wall, Part 3")
You know a classic rock station knows what it is doing when you hear all three played in a row, uninterrupted by DJ talk or commercials. Unfortunately, Pink Floyd doesn't have a video of all three merged together. But here they are back-to-back-to-back. Just click on the next one immediately after the previous one ends. But don't delay! You have to do it now! You! Yes, you! Stand still, laddy!
As a professional educator, I probably shouldn't love this song, but I do. I can't help it. I remember hearing it at the Marsh Valley Jr. High School while we ate during lunch break and Ron Jolley demanded that it be turned off. How can I not love a song that he hates?!
I also love it because Randy and I used to lay on our beds in my room, turn out the lights, and listen to this three-song sequence. Actually, we listened to the whole album, which was quite a feat, seeing as it was a double album with over 80 minutes of music.
In addition, I love it because it's so damn fun to play air guitar to the solo at the end. I know I can always make Julie laugh when I play it in the car. It may very well be the greatest air guitar song ever.
And the whole "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" question is definitely the greatest pudding-related lyric in all of rock 'n' roll music. Of course, I'm not quite sure why rock music would not have more pudding lyrics. Pudding is delicious! It's kind of like pie, but without all that crust getting in the way. Don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing pie crust. I'm a pie guy, and I love everything there is to love about pie, including the crust. All I'm saying, is that pudding is a favorite first cousin to pie. Kind of like how Randy was my favorite first cousin (on my mother's side, Laura was my favorite on my Dad's side).
Now, I must have listened to "Another Brick in the Wall" several hundred times in my life. And whenever the pudding line comes up, I imagine that the pudding is some kind of English bread pudding. But I could be wrong, so here are my top 20 alternate guesses for the type of pudding it is.
20. Spotted Dick
19. Hasty
18. Figgy
17. Mango
16. Blueberry
15. Plum
14. Strawberry Creme
13. Baked Pumpkin
12. Pear & Raisin
11. Pineapple
10. Butterscotch
9. Coconut Cream
8. Tapioca
7. Pistachio
6. Rhubarb
5. Vanilla
4. Chocolate
3. Lemon
2. Banana Cream
1. Swedish Rice (Risgrynsgröt)
I'll let you guess which one Bill Cosby liked to serve his young female guests after dinner.
You know a classic rock station knows what it is doing when you hear all three played in a row, uninterrupted by DJ talk or commercials. Unfortunately, Pink Floyd doesn't have a video of all three merged together. But here they are back-to-back-to-back. Just click on the next one immediately after the previous one ends. But don't delay! You have to do it now! You! Yes, you! Stand still, laddy!
As a professional educator, I probably shouldn't love this song, but I do. I can't help it. I remember hearing it at the Marsh Valley Jr. High School while we ate during lunch break and Ron Jolley demanded that it be turned off. How can I not love a song that he hates?!
I also love it because Randy and I used to lay on our beds in my room, turn out the lights, and listen to this three-song sequence. Actually, we listened to the whole album, which was quite a feat, seeing as it was a double album with over 80 minutes of music.
In addition, I love it because it's so damn fun to play air guitar to the solo at the end. I know I can always make Julie laugh when I play it in the car. It may very well be the greatest air guitar song ever.
And the whole "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" question is definitely the greatest pudding-related lyric in all of rock 'n' roll music. Of course, I'm not quite sure why rock music would not have more pudding lyrics. Pudding is delicious! It's kind of like pie, but without all that crust getting in the way. Don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing pie crust. I'm a pie guy, and I love everything there is to love about pie, including the crust. All I'm saying, is that pudding is a favorite first cousin to pie. Kind of like how Randy was my favorite first cousin (on my mother's side, Laura was my favorite on my Dad's side).
Now, I must have listened to "Another Brick in the Wall" several hundred times in my life. And whenever the pudding line comes up, I imagine that the pudding is some kind of English bread pudding. But I could be wrong, so here are my top 20 alternate guesses for the type of pudding it is.
20. Spotted Dick
19. Hasty
18. Figgy
17. Mango
16. Blueberry
15. Plum
14. Strawberry Creme
13. Baked Pumpkin
12. Pear & Raisin
11. Pineapple
10. Butterscotch
9. Coconut Cream
8. Tapioca
7. Pistachio
6. Rhubarb
5. Vanilla
4. Chocolate
3. Lemon
2. Banana Cream
1. Swedish Rice (Risgrynsgröt)
I'll let you guess which one Bill Cosby liked to serve his young female guests after dinner.
29. Ten Bucks Is Ten Bucks
29. "Take Off" by Bob and Doug McKenzie (and Geddy Lee)
There is no other album that takes me back to the winter of my sophomore year in high school like "The Great White North." In fact, if I were to listen to this album while playing foosball and drinking root beer, I would actually time travel to December of 1981. And the first thing I'd probably do is listen to this album while playing foosball and drinking root beer. The second thing I'd probably do is go snowmobiling at the Big Onion with all my friends. The third thing I'd probably do is play Donkey Kong. That would be a good day, eh?!
While "Take Off" is not a musical masterpiece, it is the highest charting single for Geddy Lee, and, dare I say, for Bob & Doug McKenzie too. Now there may be some folks who would say that Bob & Doug are fictional characters, so they couldn't actually have a highest charting single. But don't listen to those people. They're evil hosers, just like the most evil of all evil movie villains--Brewmeister Smith.
Okay, so that's our topic for the day. So, good day!
There is no other album that takes me back to the winter of my sophomore year in high school like "The Great White North." In fact, if I were to listen to this album while playing foosball and drinking root beer, I would actually time travel to December of 1981. And the first thing I'd probably do is listen to this album while playing foosball and drinking root beer. The second thing I'd probably do is go snowmobiling at the Big Onion with all my friends. The third thing I'd probably do is play Donkey Kong. That would be a good day, eh?!
While "Take Off" is not a musical masterpiece, it is the highest charting single for Geddy Lee, and, dare I say, for Bob & Doug McKenzie too. Now there may be some folks who would say that Bob & Doug are fictional characters, so they couldn't actually have a highest charting single. But don't listen to those people. They're evil hosers, just like the most evil of all evil movie villains--Brewmeister Smith.
Okay, so that's our topic for the day. So, good day!
Sunday, January 5, 2020
30. Maths Are Fun!
30. "I Don't Care Anymore" by Phil Collins
Full acceptance and total apathy--the final stage of the post-break up. This song is about as perfect of a Phil Collins song as you can get. Pounding drums. Ominous chords. Snarling lyrics. Can you ask for anything more? Yes, you can. But Phil's not going to give it to you, because he don't care no mo-uh-ore.
Fun Fact: Phil sings 13 no-mos in a row at the end of the song. But there are no less than 10 no-mos spread out through the song before that, for a grand total of 23!
Mathematically speaking, the precise quantity of Phil's no-mo works out to be:
no-mo23!
This could also be written as:
no-mo25852016738884976640000
The American mathematical term/phrase for this large number is:
No-mo to the power twenty-five sextillion eight hundred and fifty-two quintillion sixteen quadrillion seven hundred and thirty-eight trillion eight hundred and eighty-four billion nine hundred and seventy-six million six hundred forty thousand
(And 99 cents!)
But since Phil is British, we should probably use British terms for large numbers which, of course, are going to be more better than the American terms. (Because in Britain, they learn "maths" in school, which automatically makes them more numberly smarter, because in America we only get to learn one "math.") So, if we speech maths in British, we would say:
No-mo to the power of nine stone
Which in Britishly maths symbolistics would read:
no-mo9£♕!(and 99 cents)
Full acceptance and total apathy--the final stage of the post-break up. This song is about as perfect of a Phil Collins song as you can get. Pounding drums. Ominous chords. Snarling lyrics. Can you ask for anything more? Yes, you can. But Phil's not going to give it to you, because he don't care no mo-uh-ore.
Fun Fact: Phil sings 13 no-mos in a row at the end of the song. But there are no less than 10 no-mos spread out through the song before that, for a grand total of 23!
Mathematically speaking, the precise quantity of Phil's no-mo works out to be:
no-mo23!
This could also be written as:
no-mo25852016738884976640000
The American mathematical term/phrase for this large number is:
No-mo to the power twenty-five sextillion eight hundred and fifty-two quintillion sixteen quadrillion seven hundred and thirty-eight trillion eight hundred and eighty-four billion nine hundred and seventy-six million six hundred forty thousand
(And 99 cents!)
But since Phil is British, we should probably use British terms for large numbers which, of course, are going to be more better than the American terms. (Because in Britain, they learn "maths" in school, which automatically makes them more numberly smarter, because in America we only get to learn one "math.") So, if we speech maths in British, we would say:
No-mo to the power of nine stone
Which in Britishly maths symbolistics would read:
no-mo9£♕!(and 99 cents)
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