58. Time Out by The Dave Brubeck Quartet

 58. Time Out by The Dave Brubeck Quartet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKeS0D3uQhE&list=OLAK5uy_mo1JrADSY-s5PlmoAEOSf9Sv_FBVgVF7A

If you remember playing "Mars, Bringer of War" in high school band competition, then you also probably remember how difficult it is to play in 5/4 time. You remember, the classical piece that Banyas always had to stop us from playing at the beginning of the song to say, "It goes dah-dah-dah daah daah dat-dat-daah." You know, the one that everyone hated to play because there were five frickin' quarter notes in a measure instead of the three and four beats that we had learned to play in EVERY OTHER SONG WE EVER PLAYED. Banyas was hoping that the 5/4 time signature would impress the band competition judges, and we'd get a Superior rating from them. That never happened. Probably because we had some drummers--not Jim Sterner though--that could barely keep regular 4/4 time, and they'd inevitably get lost with the 5/4 time, and Sterner had to wrangle them all back on track in the middle of the song. (I believe Jim went on to play drums in the armed forces, so tip of the hat to him for keeping on playing music after that last song during high school graduation.)

Like Banyas, Dave Brubeck had this idea for a jazz album that he thought might impress a few people by incorporating some strange time signatures. Time Out is made up of songs that were mostly played in weird time signatures like 5/4, 6/4, and 9/8--with 3/4 and 4/4 thrown in the middle of some songs just for the fun of it. The result is an album that is quite fun to listen to, although I bet it was hell to play and not mess up. 

The Dave Brubeck Quartet features four great Jazz players, including Dave Brubeck on piano, Paul Desmond on saxophone, John Stockton on drums, and Carl Malone on bass. And because the songs have an eclectic mix of time signatures, the album cover has some funky Picassoesque abstract art on it.

This album has much more of an upbeat sound than Kind of Blue--which is so chill you can cool iceless drinks just by placing them in front of the speaker. So if you want some jazz you can listen to while doing something active, like cleaning up around the house, mixing Sprite and lime martinis for dinner guests, or robbing a casino with the rest of the Rat Pack, then Time Out is the album for you. It was the first jazz album to sell over a million copies. And the stand-out song on the album--"Take Five"--was the first jazz single to sell over a million copies. Consequently, it's no surprise that you end up hearing "Take Five" on so many movies and TV shows. It's a much more famous song, I think, than anything on Kind of Blue. And it's "Take Five" that nudges this album above Kind of Blue for me.

I highly recommend giving the entire album a listen to the next time you want to brighten your mood with something that is intellectually challenging but pleasant to listen to at the same time. But I do caution you to NOT try to tap your foot on any of the songs on this album, because you're liable to break your ankle if you do. 

59. Kind of Blue by Miles Davis

 59. Kind of Blue by Miles Davis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK_Tmcrv6cg&list=OLAK5uy_nNowSDRXeotBWkCyljP2pnYkLOvj9CMnA

Miles Davis on trumpet and Bill Evans on piano and John Coltrane on the saxophone. If that sentence didn't make your ears perk up in joyous anticipation, then you're not a Jazz fan (of the music genre, not the basketball team). It is a jazz masterpiece, and playing it in surround sound stereo while you're relaxing at home by the fire with the lights turned low and drinking a cold but ice-less drink is one of the nicest things you can ever do for your ears. 

There is no single stand-out song on this album. They're all practically perfect in every way--like a musical Mary Poppins. When most people think of trumpet jazz, they think of loud high notes and blistering fast runs up and down the scale that speed past your ears like a freight train about to run off the track. But Miles would have none of that on Kind of Blue. It's slow and soft (mostly) and controlled. Being a trumpet player myself, I am amazed at what Miles accomplished with this album. I think Jazz is the greatest artistic contribution that America has made to world culture, and this album in particular is one of the best jazz recordings ever made, an opinion shared by many others, as it is often cited as the best-selling jazz album of all time. 

Even though I learned to love jazz trumpet in middle school and high school--having taken many trumpet lessons from that great jazz trumpet player Tom Banyas--I will admit that I discovered this album later on in life during grad school at Utah State. I'd listen to this album repeatedly for hours at a time whenever I had to do HTML coding or other routine tasks in at work. Strangely enough, this "blue" music made me feel happy enough to keep churning away at the mindless computer work until it got done. I think the happy feeling may come from the way it kind of connects up with the jazz of my childhood--the Charlie Brown TV special piano jazz by Vince Guaraldi, which is the music they play in heaven whenever the angels take a break to clean out the trumpets (angel spit is seriously corrosive) and tune the harps (because angel fingernails are harder than diamonds).

If I ever pick up the trumpet again and relearn how to play it, this is the kind of trumpet music I'd want to play. (Because my old lips wouldn't be able to handle the high-note pep band songs.) And when I die, if they hand me a trumpet, I hope that this is the kind of music they want to hear...in hell. Because that's where I figure I'm headed. But as long as I'm still above ground, to be honest, I'd rather listen to this album than any church music any day. In fact, if they started playing "Flamenco Sketches" during sacrament, I'd be tempted to plunk my sinner's butt down on the back row each Sunday, even though we're currently smack dab in the middle of a get-out-of-church-free pandemic. Do you think Chris could use his bishoply powers to make that happen? He probably could. Once. 

"Welcome, brothers and sisters, to the House of Jazz!"

60. The White Album by The Beatles

 60. The White Album by The Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS5_EQgbuLc&list=OLAK5uy_njHTOnoK_aQOAa3XvnvmzZ76n8cBIJquI

Most people would put this one much higher on their list of top albums. Here's why it's the first album on the list at number 60 for me. Because it's the first album I remember listening to. That's because Mom heard "Rocky Racoon" on the radio one night when she was up tending two-year-old me that wouldn't go to sleep. She really liked the song and thought that it was the kind of song that would be sung about me, so she went out and bought The White Album just so she could listen to "Rocky Racoon" whenever she wanted. Mom and Dad even called me Rocky Racoon as a nickname for many years.

My older sister Tracy LOVED this album and played it a lot. So when Mom wasn't listening to it while tending me, Tracy was probably playing it while she was tending me. So this album is DEEPLY rooted into my brain, and it's the only one that I remember hearing while we lived in Pocatello before we made the move to Arimo--which happened the summer after I turned three years old.

There isn't much to say about the album cover. It's white. But the album insert featured huge pictures of all the Beatle's faces. 

In my family, there's a story of Carol asking Mom, "Does God love everyone?" And Mom said, "Yes, God loves everyone." And Carol said, "Even these men?" and she showed Mom this picture. And Mom laughed and said, "Yes. Even those men."

If you ever want to know what 60 hippies looked like, just slip out those liner notes and unfold the poster that featured a montage of all the Beatles doing all sorts of hippy-ish things--like sitting crosslegged on floor or singing at some dive bar or growing a bad mustache. 

Since it's a double album, and since it's the Beatles at their pre-married-to-Yoko best, this album has a song for pretty much any kind of feeling you want to feel. 

Are you angry? "Helter Skelter. "

Are you feeling peaceful? "Revolution 1."

Are you happy? "Birthday."

Are you sad? "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." "Cry Baby Cry."

Are you tired? "I'm So Tired."

Are you sleepy? "Good Night."

Are you lonely? "Yer Blues." "Don't Pass Me By.

Are you bored? "Long, Long, Long." 

Are you confused? "Revolution 9." "Glass Onion.

Are you feeling contemplative? "Mother Nature's Son."

Are you feeling silly? "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da." "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey."

Are you feeling like killing something or someone? "The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill." "Rocky Racoon." "Happiness Is a Warm Gun."

Are you hungry? "Piggies." "Honey Pie." "Wild Honey Pie." "Savoy Truffle."

Are you in love? "Dear Prudence." "Sexy Sadie." "Back in the U.S.S.R." "Martha My Dear." "Julia." "I Will."

Are you horny? "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?"

Obviously, there are a LOT of good songs on this album. But for my money, the very best song is
"Blackbird," even though it's the simplest song on the album. It's just Paul singing while playing an acoustic guitar and taping his foot and, of course, a blackbird singing toward the end. I don't know how this song does it, but it always manages to make me choke up with sadness and despair and joy and hope simultaneously. 

Some have criticized the album as being a disjointed collection of songs that had no central theme to the lyrics or consistent musical theme. To those people I say, "Ummm...didn't you listen to 'A Day In The Life?' Disjointed collections of songs with no central theme is kind of what the Beatles do!" So I'd say that this album is quintessential Beatles and, based on my own experience, is definitely worth listening to over and over and over for at least 52 years. And I can't say that for any other album on the list.

The Top 60 Albums

Push pause on "The Best Songs You Ain't Never Heard," and press play on "The Top 60 Albums list. Why now? Because with the Top 200 list, I waited until HondoJoe finished his list before I began mine, and I think the list lost a bit of Oomph to it at the end because it had been over five years since the whole project started. So this time, I'm going to join in the list-making at the same time. Hopefully, this way the entire sharing of the lists will get done on a timetable that won't stretch out until I hit my 60s, which it very well could if I waited to work on it until after HondoJoe finishes his. 

With that in mind, here comes my Top 60 Albums--kind of. As with my Top 200 list, it won't include any Billy Joel albums because if I did include them, they'd all be at the top of the list. And yes, that would include his classical piano album. That's because my love of Billy Joel is not rational. (You may be correct. I may be insane.) And piling all of his albums at the top of the list would be, well, rather predictable and boring and anti-climactic. And dammit! I want to be climactic!

As with the Top 200 list, my selection criteria won't be the same as HondoJoe's. That's not because I think HondoJoe's criteria are not good. They are EXCELLENT criteria, and I am keen to read each HondoJoe entry on the list because of them. But having read the first 8 on the list, I realize that I think about my album selections in a different way, so I'm going to need to use different criteria to reflect my thoughts on them. But here are a few criteria that limit what will and won't appear on this list.

1. No "Greatest Hits" albums. Yes, I think they're fun to listen to, but they don't have that special something that the album's had that they originally appeared on. Half the fun of listening to an album is enjoying the non-hit songs that help to give the album its special character. Greatest Hit albums are basically shameless cash grabs--not a holistic work of artistic expression. And that's one of the reasons why I really hated that Billy Joel released new songs on his Greatest Hits albums. I wanted those on a full album, dammit! (Apparently, I want to say dammit a lot right now. So, dammit! I will!)

2. No movie soundtracks that consist of a collection of different artists singing songs that are featured in the movie. Now, I will include movie soundtracks if they're by one artist or band and have that holistic album feel to them. But I won't include albums like the soundtrack to "Cocktail," even though it does have some good songs on it that I'm fond of because we had that tape when I first got married, and I have good memories of that time. However, those kind of movie soundtracks are too much like "Greatest Hits" albums--they lack that certain special something...dammit!

3. No holiday albums. I really like the Peanut's songs on the album for "A Charlie Brown Christmas," but I decided that I wasn't going to include Christmas albums because they're the kind of thing you listen to during the season, but then you don't listen to them the rest of the year because, well, it just feels wrong. I mean, when was the last time you listened to Christmas music in March? So I'm only going to include albums that I'll listen to the whole year round.

And that's it. Everything else if fair game. Now prepare yourself for Captain Nardo's Top 60 Albums. Dammit!

"Put It Where You Want It" by The Crusaders

"Put It Where You Want It" by The Crusaders

The Crusaders wrote this instrumental song in 1971 and released it in 1972, when it spent a whole nine weeks on the charts and topping out at #52 in September of 1972. Other bands covered the song, including the Average White Band, who added some lyrics that, of course, were all about making love. Now, I'm not against making love. Politically speaking, I'm very much in favor of making love--a stance I've held since puberty came along and made me a Democrat. But I think the song is much, much better as an instrumental. It's got that 70s vibe to it that takes me back to the days before yogurt became a thing you could buy in stores and television shows had long theme songs. And if my life were ever turned into a 70s sitcom, this would be the theme song to it. The intro to the Captain Nardo Show would be this song playing while the screen showed me going about my daily routine, and every now and then there would be a freeze frame close-up of me making a stupid face when something goes wrong, like dripping a glob of yogurt on my shirt. In fact, if you want to turn your morning routine into a non-stop laugh riot, play this song while you're brushing your teeth and shaving and showering and putting on your clothes and stuffing your face with yogurt and just suddenly freeze your body and face at random times and pretend it's one of the freeze frames from the intro sequence to your TV sitcom life.

Now if I could only find a laugh-track device that I could carry around with me all day and press the button anytime anything stupid happened, my 70s sitcom life would be complete. 

"Keep on Movin'" by Pages

"Keep on Movin'" by Pages

In 1978 Richard Page and Steve George got some of their studio musician pals together, formed the band "Pages" and put out their first self-titled album "Pages." The album has some fine songs on it, but it did not have any commercial success as an album, and none of the songs made it on any of the charts. But there was real potential in the band, so they mixed up the supporting session musicians a bit and put out a second album in 1979 called "Future Street." Again, the album did not sell well, and the only song from the album to chart was "I Believe in You," which only got as high as #84 on the Billboard Top 100. Determined to try one more time, the band switched labels in 1981 from Epic to Capitol and put out a third album titled "Pages," achieving that rare musical feat of putting out TWO self-titled albums in a period of four years. 

Hint to record label marketing folks--if the first album with the title didn't sell well, you're probably not going to get much better results putting out a second album with the same title. All you're going to do is confuse the people that order new stock at Budget Tapes and Records who still remember how they got stuck with discount bin copies of the first album, so they won't dare risk bringing in any more albums with the same name.

Unsurprisingly, the third album did not sell well either, although once again, there is some very good tracks on the album worth listening to. Having bombed 3 times in a row, the band called it quits, and Page and George went back to work as session musicians for a number of other artists, leaving behind some very listenable but commercially unsuccessful songs. Among them, I think that "Keep on Movin'" is a hidden gem that should have charted back in 1979 when disco was in its full flowering. Also, this song should have lived on and on and on in aerobics classes and workout playlists.

This song was definitely worthy of a number on one of the many song charts that were around in 1979! It's too bad the band didn't keep on movin' and try at least one more time to put out some songs that would receive some kind of commercial success.

Oh, wait. They did. Page and George put together another band in 1984 and became half of the group "Mr. Mister." And after Page turned down offers to be the lead singer for Toto and Chicago, the group went on to chart with TWO #1 hits on the pop charts with "Kyrie" and "Broken Wings." 

Why Mr. Mister never put out a self-titled album remains a mystery. 

 

"Who'll Be the Fool Tonight" by Larsen Feiten Band

 "Who'll Be the Fool Tonight" by Larsen Feiten Band

Professional jealousy does not become Glen Campbell. The object of his covetousness was, of course, the success that Larsen Feiten Band had with their first album "Larsen Feiten Band" and their top 40 hit "Who'll Be the Fool Tonight." It seems rather petty for such jealousy to arise in a man who had enjoyed worldwide fame as a musician in the 60s and 70s--even winning multiple Grammy awards, including Album of the Year with "By the Time I Get to Phoenix." But I suppose his star was beginning to fade by the time 1980 rolled around, and so he simply could not help but express his displeasure with the Larsen Feiten Band on "Solid Gold" right in front of Dione Warwick. Fortunately, the Larsen Feiten Band had a friend in Dione, who leapt to their defense by explaining that they were musicians who had been around for many years and had played with some of the biggest names in the music industry, including Bob Dylan, the Allman Brothers, and George Harrison, just to name a few! Well, jealous Glen didn't know what to say after hearing that. I mean, after all, when someone drops the name "The Allman Brothers" in an argument, you know it's time to just shut the hell up! So, a humbled Glen begrudgingly acknowledged that Larsen Feiten Band were true professionals. 

Thanks, Dione! I only wish that we had a video of that episode of Solid Gold on the YouTubes so that we could see the expression on Glen's face when he...

What?! You say we do have that episode of Solid Gold on the YouTubes?! 

Roll the tape!

I really don't know why Glen would be jealous in the first place. The song peaked at #29 on the pop charts, which is a long, long way from the #1 spot that his "Rhinestone Cowboy" enjoyed on both the Country and Pop charts in 1975. But if Glen wants to be a jealous prick on national television, I guess he gets to be a jealous prick on national television. Apparently, winning a Grammy gets you a free pass on all sorts of bad behaviors.

Anyway, I recently listened to "Who'll Be the Fool Tonight" while binging Yacht Rock on the YouTubes after someone engaged in a texting war with me involving lines from both a Little River Band album and a Christopher Cross album. And after not hearing "Who'll Be the Fool Tonight" since... well... probably since 1980, I was still able to remember quite a few of the lines, including the chorus:

I'll be missing you
Will he be kissing you
I guess we're gonna have to wait and see
Who'll be the fool tonight
C'mon baby
Who'll be the fool tonight
C'mon baby

Clearly, if I could remember so much of the song, I must have enjoyed hearing that song on the truck and tractor radios back in 1980. And I enjoyed listening to the song 40 years later so much that I thought to myself, "In spite of the fact that they made the disastrous decision to name the band after both of their last names, this song sounds pretty good, and I bet those guys had some other hits." So, I listened to the album titled "Larsen Feiten Band," and after hearing it all the way through, I thought to myself, "Who thought it would be a good idea to name both the band AND their first album after their last names?" I also thought there were parts of the other songs on the album that sounded really good--at least as good as a lot of other stuff I had heard on American Top 40 during 1980. But none of them became even minor hits. 

Then I thought that maybe Larsen Feiten Band had recorded other albums, so I Googled "Larsen Feiten Band" and discovered that all of the members of the Larsen Feiten Band recorded another album in 1982. The name of both the band and the album was "Full Moon featuring Neil Larsen and Buzz Feiten." None of the songs were hits. I blame Glen Campbell. If he hadn't used his mighty power of the Grammy to curse the success of the Larsen Feiten Band's "Larsen Feiten Band," maybe the band would have stayed together as the "Larsen Feiten Band" instead of changing their name to "Full Moon featuring Neil Larsen and Buzz Feiten." Actually, Larsen and Feiten had released a previous album in 1972 under the band name "Full Moon." And the title of Full Moon's first album was..."Full Moon." 

That's right. They named the both the band and the album the same thing THREE TIMES IN A ROW! And they only got one top 40 hit out of all that work. In the following years, Larsen and Feiten released solo albums (with no hits) but did end up as session musicians on a lot of other top 40 songs by other singers/bands. Both Larsen and Feiten are very good musicians and sought-after session players. Feiten even invented a new way to tune electric guitars. Do you know how smart of a musician you have to be to invent a new way to tune an electric instrument? Neither do I. But he is at least that good. And Larsen is so good that he played with Miles Davis. Miles Davis! Do you know how good you have to be for Miles Davis to ask you to play with him? Neither do I. But we're talking about Jazz deity here. Of course, Miles is no Allman Brother, but he's still very, very good.

Does Larsen Feiten Band deserve to be known as One Hit Wonders? Individually, I'd say no, because individually they played on other top 40 hits. But as a group, Larsen Feiten Band definitely earned that distinction. But what they didn't do was anything at all to earn the everlasting hatred of Glen Campbell. And that's why "Glen Campbell" is the correct answer to the question, "Who'll be the fool tonight?"