166. "Funky Cold Medina" by Tone-Loc
My affinity for this song centers entirely on the hook--a Foreigner "Hot Blooded" chord mixed with not one, but TWO cowbells! I can't turn the radio up fast enough when I hear that hook.
But as much as I love the hook, I'm not that crazy about the song lyrics. I have never really understood what the hell is going on in the story.
Break it down.
Tone-Loc can't get women. A dude at the bar takes pity on Loser-Loc and tells him about a powerful aphrodisiac. Tone-Loc is so excited about the elixir that he immediately tries out on his…dog?! You're already at a bar with lots of women! Why would you go home to first try it out on your dog?! Well, the dog immediately humps Tone-Loc's leg, which apparently Tone-Loc permits. After he's seen how effective the potion is on canines, Tone-Loc decides to go back to the bar and give the first woman he sees a shot of the love liquor. It works (no surprise there), so he takes the woman back home to have meaningless relations, but it turns out the woman is really a transgender man dressed as a woman (big surprise there), so Tone-Loc immediately ends the tryst. Having bombed-out at the bar, Tone-Loc decides his best course of action is to go on a dating game show, where he wins a dinner date. But before he can even get through the appetizers, she starts talking about getting married. It would seem to me this would be the optimal outcome for a guy that is seriously looking for love. But Tone-Loc flees the scene. Moral of the story: the absolute worst consequence of using effective love drugs is matrimony, which is even worse than being the object of mutt-love.
Dumb story. But awesome cowbell. And sometimes, the sins of the lyricist can be forgiven and forgotten if there is enough quality cowbell in the music.
Ya know what I'm saying'
That cowbell's a monster, y'all
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