171. "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice
"Under Pressure" by Queen (song #184 on the HondoJoe Top 200) probably would have made it onto this list if it hadn't been for "Ice Ice Baby." Vanilla Ice knocked it out of consideration because he sampled "Under Pressure" so heavily on this song that over the years it kind of dragged down my enjoyment of "Under Pressure." Now, why would I choose a song that samples "Under Pressure" over the actual song performed by Queen? Well, first, let me state that I'll readily admit that "Under Pressure" is a much, much better song than "Ice Ice Baby." The music is better. The lyrics are better. The video is better. I mean, GEEZ! The "Ice Ice Baby" video is so dark that I can barely see any of the dance moves! The only things I can even half-way see are walls of graffiti and the clips of him driving his white convertible...in front of more walls of graffiti.
Ice Ice Baby Video
The only reason "Ice Ice Baby" makes it onto this list is because of a brief personal connection I made with Vanilla Ice at the Salt Lake City airport. I was flying back to Kansas City after a job interview in Idaho, and the lady at the ticket counter asked if anyone would be willing to give up their seat so another passenger could get on the flight. I figured that since I was jobless, I really didn't have to be anywhere the next day, and the airline would pay for my stay at a local hotel that night and give me free airfare on a future flight. It sounded like a good deal to me, so I told them I'd give up my seat. But I still had to wait in line in case somebody didn't show up for their flight and there was room for me on the plane. So I stood at the back of the line next to this dude wearing what looked to me like a skater outfit and a baseball cap. He had tattoos all over his arms and legs and earrings in each ear. I remember thinking that he looked a little old to be wearing skater clothes, but maybe he was a snowboarder that had come to Utah to take advantage of some October snow. After he boarded the plane, I asked the woman at the ticket counter if they still needed my seat. She said that they did, since the last passenger had taken my seat. There was another guy at the counter who had given up his seat as well. He said to the two ladies behind the ticket counter, "Was that Vanilla Ice?" The lady said yes and smiled a little bit. Then the guy said, "Is he still performing?" I replied, "Yeah, I heard he rocks the mic like a vandal!" That got the guy and the ladies behind the counter laughing out loud.
Out of all the celebrities I could have met in my life, it turns out Fate selected Vanilla Ice, and even when I was meeting him I didn't even know who he was until he was out of sight, on the plane, sitting in my seat, eating my peanuts, and drinking my quarter-can of Sprite. For some reason, I get an enormous kick out of the fact that the biggest celebrity encounter of my life would be someone as lame as Vanilla Ice. Whenever I hear those opening measures of "Ice Ice Baby," I can't help but smile as I turn up the music and recall the time I got screwed over by Fate but managed to tell a Vanilla Ice joke that made three strangers chuckle, which I think is as close as Fate will let me get to fulfilling my fantasy of being a stand-up comedian. For me, this experience kind of symbolizes what I think is a major life lesson for me--you better find some amusement in life's disappointments, because if you don't laugh, you'll end up crying.
Yo! Let's get out of here. Word to your mother!
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