130. Part B: "Breakin' the Law" by Judas Priest
After publishing the entry for song #130, I received a challenge from HondoJoe to name any other Judas Priest song besides "United" and "You've Got Another Thing Comin'." Apparently, my inclusion of heavy metal songs is a bit surprising, as I didn't seem to listen to a lot of heavy metal as a teenager.
Let me set the record straight.
During my childhood and early teenage years, the church leaders in the stake and ward made it quite clear that heavy metal was the devil's music. I believe they said this in part because the music was loud and harsh, unlike the rock 'n' roll they had listened to in the 50s and 60s. Of course, it didn't help that the lyrics actually referenced the devil and his evil domain (Inkom). "Good music" was defined as classical music and anything you could sing in church. Consequently, listening to heavy metal meant you were openly and purposefully rebelling against the Almighty Ruler of the Universe and/or Kathryn Payne.
Memories of heavy metal music in my early teenage years are few. Because it was not endorsed by the God/Payne-fearing people of our farming community, I had a negative opinion of heavy metal. I remember thinking it was a bit of a secret scandal among us kids that the Bellon boys liked listening to KISS, since his father was in the bishopric in one calling or another throughout my youth.
Also, I remember Sam Gunter listened to Blue Öyster Cult in his car outside the church after mutual. I walked away from it, not wanting to hear such evil music.
And in 1981, the movie Heavy Metal premiered--a movie that I did not see then because of its R rating and have not seen since because I'm not a fan of R-rated cartoons. Cartoons aren't supposed to involve people in profane, raunchy, and violent conflicts with each other. Cartoons are supposed to be clean, chaste, and violent conflicts between a rabbit and a duck, a rabbit and a bull, a rabbit and a tasmanian devil, a rabbit and a pig with a speech impediment, a rabbit and a hunter with a speech impediment, a rabbit and a witch with a hairpin impediment, a rabbit and a martian with a ray-gun impediment, a roadrunner and a coyote, a sheepdog and a coyote, a bird and a cat, a mouse and the same cat, a completely different cat and a skunk, a rooster and a chickenhawk, and a rabbit and the roughest, toughest, rootin'est, shootin'est claim-jumper that ever jumped a claim! However, even though the Heavy Metal the cartoon did not interest me, as I advanced into my middle teens, I couldn't resist the movie's invitation to take a ride on heavy metal.
By the time I turned 16, I had mostly changed my mind about heavy metal. I didn't like the really hard stuff, but if they played it on the radio, I'd listen to it.
What brought about such a sharp turn in my attitude towards the music? It was a stake youth fireside.
Sometime in 1981 or 1982, the stake brought in a guest speaker came to talk to all us younguns about the evils of rock music. I remember at the beginning of the talk he explained how rock songs would lead us straight to hell with their insidious lyrics. I thought to myself that he must be talking about heavy metal bands like KISS, Blue Öyster Cult, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Nazareth, or maybe Van Halen. But when it came time to provide a real-life example of rock 'n' roll damnation, the speaker didn't chose any of these heavy metal groups as the epitome of evil music. Instead, he started bashing the song "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel. Being a huge fan of Billy Joel, I decided at that very moment that on matters related to music the speaker and all of the other ecclesiastical leaders of the community were simply full of shit. That's when I gave myself permission to start listening to heavy metal songs.
I wasn't what you would call a consumer of heavy metal. I didn't buy any heavy metal albums. And I didn't wear any t-shirts with heavy metal bands on them. I also didn't have any posters up in my room featuring anyone dressed in studded leather. But I would listen to the songs on the radio, and I found that I liked quite a few of them. Cousin Randy liked a lot of heavy metal. He was a big Van Halen fan, and I came to like their music too (until Diamond Dave left the band). As far as I can remember, my friends weren't into heavy metal, unless you count Meatloaf as a heavy metal artist. (Heavy? Yes. Metal? Maybe.) So my buddies and I didn't listen to a lot of heavy metal while we were hanging out. But since I spent a lot of time in my youth listening to the rock 'n' roll radio stations while driving the tractor and truck, I heard plenty of heavy metal songs that I liked. And the music television had some interesting videos by heavy metal bands. Among them was Judas Priest's "Breaking the Law."
Hey! Do you like music videos in which three guys dressed in black leather--one of whom is wearing a pilgrim hat--rob a bank using their ultra-loud guitars as both weapons and safe-cracking devices? Then you're in for a real treat!
This video is chock-a-block full of heavy metal wonder. And by that I mean I wonder what the hell is going on?!
Questions abound.
Why are they driving on the right side of the road when they pull up to the bank in the getaway car? It's England! Aren't they suppose to drive on the left side of the road?
If they're in England, shouldn't the steering wheel be on the right side of the car, not the left?
And why are they driving a convertible for a getaway car anyway? Wouldn't bank robbers want a car with a roof and tinted windows that conceal their identity and provide some protection against flying bullets?
What bank would keep their security guard out of the waiting area and instead put him in a separate room where he spends his time reading Penthouse magazine and taking naps?
How did the flowers that the blonde dude knocked over get back onto the counter? All of the people in the bank had both hands either up in the air or clamped over their ears. Do they have bouncing flowers in England?
Where does Ian Fitzgerald buy his glasses? And under the English health care system does he get free replacement lenses if they get shattered by loud music?
How the hell did the drummer suddenly appear with a full drum set in the middle of the bank?! We didn't see anyone enter the bank carrying drum equipment!
How the hell did that bearded bass guitarist suddenly appear? Only two guitarists came into the bank with the lead singer--the blonde one and the one with the red pants. Does the beard give the bass guitarist the power of teleportation?! And when he appears, does anyone detect the faint smell of burning brimstone?
What is that thing that keeps appearing and disappearing on the back counter by the guitarist? Is it a plant in a macrame holder? Or is it a video camera on a tripod?
Who is Sue Cuss? And why do I think her bangs look cute?
What happened to all the glass panes in the glass wall above the counter? Some of the glass is still there, but the robbers are able to easily step through the deglassed parts of the wall. The band didn't shatter the glass with their guitars or music. Why wouldn't the bank have ALL of the glass panes installed to keep the tellers safe from bank robbers and/or rampaging rock bands?
What power chord do you play to open a combination lock on a door to a bank vault?
Why would a band need to break into a bank to steal a gold record that was theirs in the first place? And why would the bars inside the vault need to be bent when the record is within arm's reach and both arms and gold record could easily slip through the unbent bars?
How are they able to blow up a security camera with their guitars?!
Why can we still see the waiting area on the security monitor after the band has blown up the security camera with their guitars?
Why does the bank's security guard have a fake wooden guitar by his desk instead of a real metal gun?
Why does the band leave the drum set inside the bank after the heist? Won't the police be able to trace the drum set back to them?
Who is driving the getaway car at the end of the video? We see six people in the car, but only five were involved in the heist. There are three guitarists and the drummer in the back seat, and the lead singer is standing on the passenger side of the car (which should really be the driver's side in England). Does the beard give the bass guitarist the power to teleport other people with his mind?
At the beginning of the video (0:26), we see the car on its way to the heist going down the highway towards two multi-story buildings. Then at the end of the video (2:35), we see the same car going down the exact same stretch of highway towards those same two multi-story buildings. Shouldn't they be fleeing the scene of the crime, not driving back towards it? Or are they going back to get the drum set?
This video is a magical mystery tour that may never be solved. I don't know if the real crime being depicted in the video is bank robbery or a total disregard of cinematic continuity. However, this is the song that meets HondoJoe's heavy metal challenge. It's the only other Judas Priest song I can name from memory besides "You've Got Another Thing Comin'." But you can count on hearing a few more heavy metal songs before we reach #1 on this top 200 list. Yes we'll continue to take this ride on heavy metal! But it won't be in a convertible, Payne willing!
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